i/n/f/o/ /t/r/af/f/i//c..brought to u by me:the wanna fit into xs dress

guess wat, i went outing w warden mate here to I/k/e/a yesterday
it was a FUN outing..
i didnt buy any stuff except hair band which cost me myr 10 & food stuff(wat else,the yummy food there)-jimat2..
lots of pic taken..gosh..ive need to polish the skill to take pic..must..must

gosh..i need to be STRICT on exercising
am not FIT..am fat..huarghhhhhhhhh
hated..hated..
my body was like jelly..hidious..
& i can feel that ived grown inch around my waist line & the bum getting bigger..
must EXERCISE!!!!!!!

i need to b FIT..i need to lose weight
i need to weight only 45kg..i need to hv high metabolisme..
i need to EXRCISE!!!...i need to control my eating/craving
i need to diet..huraghhhhhhh

its hard being a gal..its hard being adi/edd

eida.... gamba ko pakai blusher tu cun gilee aaa.....

jgn aa potong rambut pendek sgt... ingat gamba chilis tu? tajam2 sgt hujung rambut ko....

trim je sket...

kalau lagi panjang,. lagi byk style ko blh buat.....and lagi banyak mende ko leh pakai nak hias rambut ko .....hehehe pk camtu...

-------------------------------------

YEYEYEYYEYEYE..CUTI SEK..
HUHUHUHUHU..
next week b back 4 good..
family..outing..window..diet..exercise..girly stuff..clean room,EXERCISE!!

cruz45 wanna be..must..must!!!!!

i cooked again 2dayas ive craving for these high protein,low fat,less oil & HOME cooking food
& this time is baked fish(talapia fish i guess-fish that i liked)
& baked egg plant(i like this vege-i usually boil the stuff but just wanna try different taste)

how much the stuff cost me:

the fish:myr 3.50 for 2 pcs of fresh fish
eggplant:myr 1 for 3 pcs
okra:myr 1
lime:myr 1

total:myr6.50

its not so bad after all isnt..
fresh stuff at affordable price & healthy cooking..
reminder for myself..EAT SPICES,GARLIC,ONION,GINGER AS its is healthy & DIET>>>>can lose weight!!!
less/NO USE OF OIL & SALT
LOTS OF H20..

sorry i didnt hv my neekon w me...
& pray for me that those lazy people call me tommorow to fix my fast lane..

i feel to cut my hair..but..mmmmm..am so bored..

managed 2 do few task today..good for me..yeyeyey
i cook 4 myself..egg w tomato w onion w pepper..budget conscious..
plus am craving for protein..protein is good..lose weight baby!

gosh..i wanna my broady..semlm dah complain..
pasal lah lembap sgt nie..
nasib baik lah abby dell nie recover cepat if tak..
am going to be crazy if both die on me..that for sure..

im blur..am wanna to eat..
am wanna so badly to be 45kg..
am wanna a BODY /LEG massage..
am need to sit & budget..

*****
noted to myself to get myself a mp3@ battery for the old one..
noted to myself dun buy lagi heel..as i will not wear it..budget2


yeyyeyee..balik this friday...

can u see the new blusher..& my new earring!!!

i vow to myself that i need to LOSE WEIGHT..
i cant affort to be bulat..to be fat..i hated being one..
when u lose weight it build up ur self esteem..
true & its work..

in between how do u liked the new blush(yeah..am wearing a blusher wei)
& my new gorgeous earring(yeah..am wearing a earring wei)
i feel like a girl..heheheheh

i miss my broady..

i think am on pms..
i was on duty 4 exam..bored..sleepy & i feel bloated
my feet hurt due to this melecet..& i feel fat..
bloated tummy..big boob..big thigh..huarghhhhh
to make it worst my beloved fast lane still cant be used..darn it
i need the stuff to mail pic..to upload..
i need to be in a fast speed lane..
hey..i pay myr77 permonth..mahal tue..
so by late..lets pray its on wed..

in a lighter note..
am craving for K/A/I/L/A/N /M/A//SA/K/ /I/K/A/N// /M/A/S/I/N
I went buy the raw stuff & good..
it was edible & quite good lah..
even silap buy those salted fish..yet..still YUMMY..
i cooked..yeah..I COOK..
due to i wanna to eat those stuff so badly..
i been craving it from last week..
but malas nak masak..& i only intend to hv the meal home cook..
lebih kurang aje buy & home made
but at least cooking on our own
means HEALTHIER MEAL(CRuz45 wannna be)

the sayur-myr 1.85
the salted fish-myr 1.50
onion/minyak/garam/misc-pakai yg dah ada at housey

GRAND TOTAL:MYR 3.35

i hv to be STRICT 2 myself not to eat NASI(diet..diet.cruz..cruz)
eat vege..fruit
drink H2O
no soft drink..no junk food..
no late night eat..
EXERCISE!!!!!!!

al fatihah

friday 24 nOv 2006,
my grandma from paternal side had passed away

"pelarian boleh buat"keep that in mind to lose weight>>

am still using the slow net..
by esok depa tak call..i gonna call them up..
hey i pay 77 per month to get connected at a fast lane..paham!!!
am tired today..coz of the teman a frenz here shopping
she treat me this eye bag stuff..

• & i bought myself a new bo/d/y/sh/o/p perfume.

• (i need 2 feel good...gosh lama tak shop 4 nicey stuff)

• skipping rope(a mahal one-motivator to lose weight)

• a new bottle(need to drink lots of h20)

browsing good stuff..& ive check wat is the pe/d/o/m/e/ter(stuff to count ur step in order to lose weight)..basically 2 lose weight we hv to walk/step for 10000 times PER DAY..
TAK susah kan?boleh..boleh..
as wat mem put the semangat word

"pelarian boleh buat"...heheheheh

ive was window-ing also for SPORT SHOE(x insaf2 )
there few pattern & brand that i like but im budgetting & being calculative(lots of stuff to pay for..but later perhaps)
sport shoes is a good investment.Its like buying good working shoes..
& yes..i did found one but since it left only 1 pair,i didnt buy it..YET i lurve the pattern..(most check others places 4 the pattern..must..must!!)
it is black wedges that comfort & cover the whole feet & kinda smashing in design..
even i bought recently a new working shoes..dah rosak tapaknya..mmmmmmm
save money..save money..budget2

on a lighter note..me received a mail w this new local divorcee singer..
gosh..she look gorgeous..she skinny(damn skinny & me LIKEY)
& she look fabolous being TAN..
later me wanna upload his pic..i really like her pic..GORGEOUS!!!

esok balik..i cant hardly wait..

bodylicious..toned..slim..lean..no fat..me likey!

bak kata nana..lets embrace the tan..
yeah..tan is good..tan is beAuty..
MUST lose weight & clear complexion
get myself a DSLR..(start saving..must..must)
must berjimat..simpan duit..
spend wisely..

the need to lose the 7 kg!..

am still write use the slow net..still thankful..at least ada kan...
paktam & mak tam come over & they stay at this E hotel here..
yeyeyeye..best2..
am pampering myself there w hot tub,hot steam bath..
gosh..am ALIVE again..
since am using kinda slow uploading connection..
pic will be later..gosh..lots of nicey capture

esok kena bgn awal & am still awake..
waaaaaa..am gaining.
i look fat..huarghhhhh
must lose weight..

the so many i wanna to write..but later ..

alhamdullilah..my abby d/e/l/l has recover..
the more we tend to lose stuff..the more we going to appreciate it..
these occasion made me lurve my abby d/e/l/l more & more..
______________________________

am waiting 4 the modem to be fix..cepatlah..
i need my fast line
i lived in fast line..
i need to send many pic mail
i miss my superduper my own connection..

________________________________

i cant wait to be home..
i wanna wear my dress/skirt/nicey clothes
& jalan2..GAL!!!!jum..sob...i MISS YA!!!

_______________________________

saya perlu mengingatkan diri saya:
saya perlu berjimat cermat
saya perlu simpan duit
wajib..MUST!!!
sbb saya:

• wanna get a DSLR camera
• wanna travel
• wanna get my passport
• wanna get a desktop
• wanna have GOOD SAVING
• wanna beringat future..
• wanna save 4 raining day
• wanna pay hutang
• wanna get a bike..

__________________________

i just realized am will be 27 next month..
28 next year..gosh..i always feel that am just 12/15/18/19/21 years old..
am wanna to be that 4 ever..
a bit confused w my aged today..
gosh..i wanna be yong again..
& to think again..there lots of stuff i hvnt done..
huraghhhhhh..
mUST LOSE WEIGHT!!
DIET>>>EXERCISE>>>FASTING>>>NO NASI>>>MORE h20..
the need to lose 5 kg more..must..must!!!

____________________________

i was bored in my room..so me & neekon doing stuff together.i lurve my neekon!till dearh do us part..muah!

me wout make up..
me & those eyes bag
me wout anything chemical stuff on my face
me in progress of making myself Beautier
me is HAPPY(that the most important isnt)
ME NEED TO LOSE THE FAT..i wanna LOSE 10 kg more!!
me feel wanna to go for spa/dip myself in pool
(korang on me birthday..jomlah..marriot things..nana check lah if kau dapat harga murah..aku 10% aje)
i wanna to buy new undergarment..bra & undies..mmmmmmmm
plus a sport bra..(cruz45..cruz45)

i discover that ive deeply passion over camera,photography,
cute gadget,IT stuff..
i wish that ive extra of moolah that i can splurge wout thinking..wout budgetting
but since am just a kids w limited source & i HV RESPONSIBILITY..
kena bijak berbelanja & berhemah in spending every single cent

i kinda like the capture..CUTIE i believe!
(2 some cam tak betul aje..but who cares?
as long ME happy..me LIKEY..& i make people happy w this kind of post-i believe i do hv a fan here-that fine w me)

yeyeyeyeyeyey..good nite rest w pingu..

sang me a lullaby..
am getting sleepy..
am wanna to go to dreamland..
let do wat pingu do..(apa yek..must see h/ap/p/y/ fe/e/t)

more pingu...

nitey kiss...muah!!!!

i feel to hv pizza/lasagna/the cheesy cake/icecream/PROTEIN!!!!/..AM I pms-ing?

am resting in my santuanary
am so restless..am taking myself a REST today
managed to mark 1 level..weekend..key in & mark all I MUST!!!
no play2..no tangguh2

& 2day am watching all the lovey dovey story..
(as i wanna treat & pamper myself after a harsh week)
i feel wanna to fall in lurve..be loved by others..
huarghhhh its such a romantic ending
need tp remind myself that i think i need to watch more korean/japanesse movie..
i fall in lurve w the gal..the guys..the dress..the make up..the stroy line..heheheheh
i treasure this korean @ japan movie.. called b/e/a/u/ti/f/u/l/ /l/i//f/e
sanggup tue malam2 gi bilik tv gi tgk...masa student dulu.
wah..such loving story..mana nak carik true lurve like that can..
gosh..i so wanna that GUY to be exist..
but then..do that such guys still exist..?
& if does pun all belong to others..
@ its not my destiny
@am not suit w them..
am such afraid of failure..
i dun want to be hurt again..
i dun want to be down the road again
i think IM much more a HAPPIER person now
& i value my past & look forward for future
i will not settled for less..coz i now stand among the best
i will not choose hentam coz people put me on pressure..
ITS my life!!!!..my way..my right...my happiness..
gosh..how lovey dovey movie put me in this kind motivation
to simply fall in lurve w people..
its a BIG NO...
buat menyusahkan hidup isnt..

****
ada satu masa tu i recall when people/frenz /family simply mixmatch/tell me about the M stuff

me selalu tanya myself
"aku nie hodoh sgt ke sampai itu their taste for me?"
'aku nie takde rupa ke?"

nie semua make me hvg this kinda low self esteem..
& its is not good..its evil..its cruel..
i cant hv my self esteem that low..
i always hv faith in my religion..
tuhan tue adil..ada sbb napa DIA buat like this/like that..
betul tak?sbb ada hikmahnye
am happy like this..am dun mind be like this(sbb HAPPY KAN)
for the rest of my life(jika itu yang tersurat)..
at a good point..i can take care my parent..i can do good things w society..am can travel..am wont waste my life w wrong person..mmmmmm..am very good in planning..hehehe



__________________________________

in between am surfing between neekon site & ca/no/n site
learn to use/different/get info of those gadget their selling
NOTE TO MYSELF:
SAVE MONEY FOR!!!!!!!
-GET URSELF A DSLR
-GO TRAVEL!!!
-SAVING FOR FUTURE..JGN MENBAZIR TAK TENTU PASAL
-A DESK TOP(yeah..am greedy)
-LOSE WEIGHT!!!!!!(40KG!)
-CLEAR COMPLEXION..BRAND NEW ME!!!

___________________________________

my long mail after few days buat kerja bagai nak mampus!

FINALLY..

SETTLE ALL THE MENYUSAHKAN REPORT..

MENYUSAHKAN HIDUP AKU SUNGGUH

CANT DO ANYTHING ELSE EXCEPT THE BLOODY REPORT..
AKU TIDUR TERMIMPI2KAN KERJA YG TAK SIAP..
NANGIS..NANGIS SBB KERJA BODUH YG ADA DATELINE..CURSING..SBB BENDA NIE IF THE STUPID KIDS TAK BUAT..AKU TAKDE CASE..DEPA SUKA SUSAHKAN /BUAT CASE DKT2 CUTI..HURAGHHHHHHH..

SETAKAT AKU KERJA LAH..BE AT NET..BE AT K/FC...NEVER LAH I FEEL LIKE SO STRESS..NEVER AKU RASA LIKE TO STRANGLE PEOPLE..
I DIDNT EVEN GET PAID FOR THIS..

SO NEXT PAPER MARK & KEY IN MARKAH..

APA2 CETA NAK BABY..KENA INFORM AKU DULU SBB AKU LUM SEDIA NAK JADIK MAKCIK..HEHEHEHEHEH

I STILL LURVE TO BE CALLED KAKAK BY THE YOUNGSTER INSTEAD OF THE CAPITAL M...TAK MAU..TAK MAU OLD B4 AM READY 2 B ONE..HEHEHHEHEHE

KAK ILA CAKAP SAMA AKU..SAPA BULI KAU..

AMBOI..BERANI DIA KASI KAKAK AKU PMS NIE..

WEI AKU RINDUKAN KAU..

PASTIKAN KAU BOLEH OUTING SAMA KITA ORG..NO EXCUSE THEN...

YEYEYYEYE..CANT WAIT DECEMBER..

KAKILA..KITA MASIH UTANG SI NANA TUE CHILIES LAH WEI..HHEHEHEHHE..

APA2 PUN IF U TWO MARRIED PEOPLE WANNA TO DO PLAN ..WATEVER...
WE HV WEDDING BELL THIS DEC ISNT & SANDING NEXT YEAR BETUL...

YEYEYYEYEYEY..LEH PAKAI BJ2 KITA YG GLAM...

AKU BALIK KALI NIE ALA KADAR..BUT AS USUAL..

MY ATOS..MY ABBY DELL..MY NEEKON 1 & 2..MY EXERCISE STUFF WILL IKUT LAH..HEHEHEH..

WEI AKU NAK JALAN SUNGGUH THIS DECEMBER,.

WEI AKU NAK GI B/A/T/U/ /C/A/V/E/S,WEI JOM PIKNIK KAT SUNGAI,,MANDI MANDA..& FOR ME & KAKILA BIRTHDAY..JOM KONGSI GI M/A/R/R/I/OT KE?HEHEHEEHHEHE

APA YG PASTI DECEMBER AKU CUTI..YEYEYYEYEYEYEYYEYEYEYEY

WAH..ME FEEL GOOD AS ONE BURDEN DAH LIFT UP!!!

am reeeeeeaaaaaaly tired..
am getting info about class to teach next year
damn am so bz i didnt bother..
hated doing report
am wanna sleep only

korang..rindu tak ngan aku?

am MISSING u all gal!!!!..
am MISSING U guys..jum-sob!!!

am cant wait to smell kl air..hehehhehe

report..marks..planner..cuti..yeyeyeyye

i really wanna school holiday!!

am back at 630pm doing report wat else..
HV TO SUBMIT IT ALL TOMMOROW>>>
hv siap esok gak pasal khamis wont b around & need to send it to HQ
esok final..malam nie kena bertungkus lumus gak..

in between am catching up w my malay languange..
sgt teruk wei..i hv to spell word by word to write the exact word of suspicious..
am practising it so hard..

huarghhhhhh..byk kerja lagi nie wei..
am dead meat
___________________

i want to HUG my dinda..
a BIG TQ..for the lovely mini dress..
hey can turn it to be a skirt u know..
i though i tak muat..but i DID muat..
scary aje..coz am feel fat..

______________________

yeah..am getting weight am think..
tak mau gemuk...tak mau gemuk..
mUST CRUZ..must CRUZ!
after all stuff settle..must..must EXERCISE..
must..must LOSE WEIGHT!!

____________________

back at 5pm..am really stress..
am dun think i can handle the report..the pressure..
cry over the phone w dinda while surfing(damn terror one)
then sleep as i need to recover my sanity
wake up w a call regard the report...am padan muka!

am writing this down..am wanna cry so badly
but i cant..am doing work slowly..
i just wanna to sleep..mati aku esok..

am kemas the table to do the work..
am sleepy indeed..bgn lah..
hvnt keluar from the room..from the camp..
huarghhhh..dear god,please gave me the courage..

stupid kids yg buat case..stupid..stupid..
now aku kena buat report yg menyusahkan hidup..
i never ask 4 the menyusahkan task..
stupid..stupid..
huarghhhhhhhh..i wanna CRY!

i was browsing the net & found this..NICEY

Facts about Women

1) Women love to shop. It is the one area of the
world where they feel like they're actually in control.

2) Women especially love a bargain. The question
of "need" is irrelevant, so don't bother pointing it
out. Anything on sale is fair game.

3) Women never have anything to wear. Don't
question the racks of clothes in the closet;
you "just don't understand".

4) Women need to cry. And they won't do it alone
unless they know you can hear them.

5) Women will always ask questions that have no
right answer, in an effort to trap you into feeling
guilty.

6) Women love to talk. Silence intimidates them
and they feel a need to fill it, even if they have
nothing to say.

7) Women hate bugs. Even the strong-willed ones
need a man around when there's a spider or a
wasp involved.

8) Women can't keep secrets. They eat away at
them from the inside. And they don't view it as
being untrustworthy, providing they only tell two or
three people.

9) Women always go to public restrooms in
groups. It gives them a chance to gossip.

10) If a man goes on a seven-day trip, he'll pack
five days worth of clothes and will wear some
things twice; if a woman goes on a seven-day trip
she'll pack 21 outfits because she doesn't know
what she'll feel like wearing each day.

11) Women brush their hair before bed.

12) Women are paid less than men, except for one
field: Modeling.

13) Women are never wrong. Apologizing is the
man's responsibility.

14) The average number of items in a typical
woman's bathroom is 437. A man would not be
able to identify most of these items.

15) Women love cats. Men say they love cats, but
when women aren't looking, men kick cats.

16) Women love to talk on the phone. A woman
can visit her girlfriend for two weeks, and upon
returning home, she will call the same friend and
they will talk for three hours.

17) A woman will dress up to go shopping, water
the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone,
read a book, or get the mail.

18) Women do NOT want an honest answer to the
question, 'How do I look?'

19) Women will make three right-hand turns to
avoid making one left-hand turn.

20) "Oh, nothing," has an entirely different meaning
in woman- language than it does in man- language.

21) Women cannot use a map without turning the
map to correspond to the direction that they are
heading.

22) If it is not Valentines day and you see a man in
a flower shop, you can probably start up a
conversation by asking, "What did you do?"

23) Women don't really care about a sense of
humor in a guy despite claims to the contrary. You
don't see women trampling over Tom Cruise to get
to Gilbert Gottfried, do you?

24) It's okay for women to kiss each other and not
be gay.

25) Women will spend hours dressing up to go out,
and then they'll go out and spend more time
checking out other women. Men can never catch
women checking out other men; women will
always catch men checking out other women.

26) The most embarrassing thing for women is to
find another woman wearing the same dress at a
formal party.

its" makan budak"!

its sunday..& next week am going to be very bz..
am wanna to write here the stuff Y am going to be very bz..but later..
am very bz today also..

AGAIN..makan2 lagi..
at my place..this time is the barbeque one..
lunch at a frenz..
gosh...am really wanna to lose weight..
i see tummy..i see gemuk..tak mau..
esok..kena gak motivated myself to fasting..
am a dead meat tomorrow..

oh yeah..yesterday family there here at camp..
boleh lah..dapat gak present.
it was hamper of food(being dun want to get fat by eating all those junk..i trade stuff w a frenz here..speaker 4 abby dell..as i always want one)
i slept like a log upon return from those outdoor stuff..
in between,captured lots & lots of PIC

to add,ari nie me wake up at 445am..
coz gi pasar borong here..buy those poultry stuff for tonight..
tell u..i wonder lah myself..Y on earth am being so bersemangat..
sleepy along the way & lupa bring along my neekon..huarghhh..

kay ..got to go now..will update stuff later..
i need to nag..must nag..

to myself:

fat..fat..go away..
wanna to lose weight
wanna to be achieve my target..
please..please..
dun be fat...
losing weight i must

my very own fridge & washing machine
kinda the 1st ever post w fridgie & washie LG

thank god finally i managed to take a nap..
its was really relaxing nap..as i dun sleep well the past days..
then AGAIN..invitation 2 makan..
& tomorrow besides me & the warden mate r handling makan2 stuff..
there 2 invite of makan2 at school..

GOOD site:this is the 1st time ever am handling my own makan2 w out my mum.(remember am a pamper gal & lazy one)..thank god lah all the GF is unlike me..all r like truely perempuan..good cooking..household..bla...bla..

(-)ve site:am FEEL like FAT..gain weight ..heavy..huarghhh..

my feet r killing me as it hurt so bad..
i think coz of am doing skipping ..gosh..hv to soothing the pain w minyak urut..
am doing skipping..am managed to do 500x like i used to do..gosh..i miss those days
i need to find myself..exercise..stamina is running low..darn..i hated being tired

off to pray..clean stuff..& need to buy stuff 4 tommorow..
cya!

happy gal over vit C & happy chemical..

yummy strawberry=myr 5.99
choc syrup=myr9.90
my alien spoon=my own colletion
petrol 2 hypermarket=half full

its totally priceless..
am a happy..happy gal..
even am think am gain weight...darn..hated..hated..hated being fat..
back 2 basic..lots of h2o..
EXERCISE & no eat stuff..fasting..diet

pleae..please baby body..
i really need to lose the kilos..

its been makan week..huarghh..i dun want to be fat!

sleep time:2 am
wake up time: 530am
then sleep..then wake..then sleep..then awake
look at the brighter side:30 days like this..
am CAN LOSE weight!!!!
yeppie!!
hv to lose weight..hv to cruz 45..hv to..hv to..

ive been here at camp for 12 days..
huarghhhhh..it feel like a month..
am like missing home like crazy..
am missing the pool..
am missing the freedom
yeah..i miss my mom & the brats
i wanna go home..but i cant
ive to be strict to myself..padan muka saya!

between:2days going to be very bery bz:

• got makan2 again!!!!!
• my door still kena repair
• am angry to myself coz hv to bwk kids to buat acc..suck..suck..suck..am so stupid..am so soft hearted..arghhhhhhh..yesterday..ada budak ask me to print pic..arghhhh..i wanna cry..i wanna scream to those brat...apa depa ingat aku nie..driver..am so angry that am crying..am so angry it ruin my mood..am so angry that i just wanna hang note at the door..2 days ago there kids asking me to iring them to their advis home..THIS i refused as i know it will leave me burden..make me burn out & come on..y must i involved in something ur freaking lazy/many excuse/nak senang advisor duty!!! this me dah bijak sikit..i neeed to put ME 1st..i need to put my hakiki work 1st..arghhhh..am so angry..i cant even talk about it..am can only cry...i wanna balik!!!!
• am hv to jaga exam petang
• am need to clean room..ive told myself this many times already..buat lah jangan malas
• am need to go w atos mate to buy grocery for coming friday..makan again at my place
• am need to clean the homey rest house for the coming friday
• am to settle my paper!!!!wei jgn malas!
• am need to scheduled the jaga exam paper & call the ketua one..

on lighter note:

• am thinking/dreaming of deeping myself in pool
• am wanna learn to swim..class nye
• am wanna to jog
• i need to get my mp4 back@ buy a new battery @ buy a new one..hehhehehe
• cant wait for the make up stuff to reach home
• cepatlah cuti!!!!!
  

To be hurt, to feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life

just my nag..ignore these matter

am just back from eating stuff AGAIN..
its 4 house in a day..huarghhhhh..
i feel like wanna run..wanna jump..wanna skip for 1000x..
i remember i kinda culture shock w the eating stuff here..
always makan..makan & makan..
not it is not good..but the eating stuff..& my diet MUST & the exercise regime didnt fit together..
i lack of exercise.
am think am depress(if not early sign of it coz of being too baik to people & being taking advantages-how am so clever..arghhhhh)

its about a month plus
to school holiday..
end of 2006
my birthday..
yeyeyye..xmas..eid..

need to do review..
wat hv i achieve & wat not..
am i been a good gal for these year..
hv i achieve wat i want
yeah..to think..to ponder..buat post mortem

"live is too precious to be waste on a wrong guys.."

i was viewing pic & see these..i cant help myself smiling/laughing..

if u wonder..who that?
its ME alright..the capture was taken by a frenz of mine while am still at net..
gosh..i miss the jog time..

BASICALLY I SHOULD SCOLD MYSELF
sbb tak reti2 bersyukur..

tau tak while others jobless..ive a JOB..ive MOOLAH..

tau tak while others straving..ive live to eat

tau tak while others suffer of poverty..am can still go shopping

tau tak while others being emotionally & physically being hurt..am a happy gal w loving family & frenz

tau tak while others r still searching for the meaning of life & still lost..am thankful fore being a muslim..am being educated..being lived to do good

all this coz am missing home.. sabar2..next week..aje kay dear..

2nd day taking a/d/i/pex
am catching my breath..am hv to drink lots & lots of h2o
am going back to the basic..
am sleepy..

finally managed to sidai bj..
still a bit rehat today..
will start bz later this afternoon..

am missing KL..huarghhhhh

miss me huh?

am blur..am bored..
am feeling like crying..
might be coz padan muka saya
might be coz am high on pill
might be missing home..huarghhhhh

& i did unplan stuff..i went shopping
yeah..virtually shop..& there goes the moolah..
am bit blur..but i know i wanna those stuff..
no regret..not at all..

wanna sleep earlier..
wanna dream of home 2night..

gosh..am sleepy..
am bored..
am missing home..
huarghhhhhhh

am not homesick..am kl sick...

a pair of wedges that me likey but hvnt wear it yet..
am missing the mall...

i post these capture coz am look so HAPPY..
i wanna my happiness...huarghhhhh..
sabar2..remember..
no work..no moolah..
no moolah..no shopping..
no shopping..no life..
no life..hurghhhhhhh
its simple as that..
so go to work..jgn malas2..paham!

i just hv an interesting chat w a frenz..
she said that gals r very easy to please..
like we r the creature that b happy if we can go shopping..
we happy when we hv pretty stuff..such as make up..bj..shoes..hehehehe
we happy if our partner/spouse treat us good
i can deny the true..yeah..
am be HAPPY when i enter sale..get good bargain..wearing new stuff..
best rupanya jadik perempuan yek..heheheh

it will be a relaxing week i hope..
am hoping..am praying..
am feeling blue..bengung..terawang-awangan..
am high coz of the cruzpill..

to be HAPPY..to be cruzgenic & cruzfit45..am wanna to hv those make up stuff..am wanna be GORGEOUS

am sleepy...
am been bz today & yesterday..
am telling myself not to miss home..& my kl life..
am telling myself..PATIENT..

nyte ya all..misz me..
please mail me lah..good stuff..one..am bored ya

am very bery tired today..
am will be tomorrow..
am feeling wearing nicey dress & my wedges/heel..
w my good make up & healthy skin..
am feeling fat..am losing weight i must..
i wanna LONG HOLIDAY!!!!

i feel fat..huarghhhhhhhhh
hated myself..huarghhhhh
eat..eat & eat..
i can see myself piling up..
huarghhhhhh..die..die..die..
diet..fasting..diet...EXERCISE...

my paper finish today..now to mark them all..
mana aku nye skema..tak buat lak tue ,dah lah kena bg kat senior fell yg schema..mati aku
& yup paper senang gilos..lots of type error..so padan muka saya

am still in not so good mood..am in the tgh khayal stuff
the happy chemical still working at very minimal output

am wanna eat stuff..sweet stuff foremost
yesterday i was craving for cendol..creamy one that sell here..
if am at that stage if craving 4 cendol..means am really wanna eat as i dun really fancy it..
i was eating like banyak gilos the past days..
w the period..w the open house...gosh..am really gaining,i can feel that
& this also lead to the feeling of guilty stuff..
argggggggggggh..
am now..drinking h20..making myself hot milo to reduce the crave
& surfing plus clean the room...(that hard mind u)

on the lighter note..i think i wanna go for date..
i meant dress really nice in my dress..make up..& good food..
so JUM & SOB..must go & date me kay..hehehehhe

& as for gals..twin..& cousie..wei...remember:
"AKU CUTI SEKOLAH IN COMING MONTH>>
MUST KELUAR TAU>>GREAT TIME>>"

wei korang..i miss u all

why lah aku nie..
as jum mentioned to me..
"kau dah setahun kat sana edd..Y lah nak homesick"

yeah...Y lah..
am so pamper..manja..tak boleh pakai punya budak..
but wat to do..am so luving frenz & family r there..
mmmmmm..step by step..heheheheh

current fav pic now is myself when i was little..
standing schema kat beach...
i LOOK so cute...hehehe
kena upload gak this pic..
i miss being a kid..
life is so clean & clear..
no things to rush..its a cOMPLETE HAPPY LIFE!
oh ya..no period stuff also kan..

i know that ive my frenz & family when i need them the most

• ive not been online properly the past day
• period of the month..am so weak..mentally & physically.im so burn out..am missing some where in brain due to lack of those happy chemical..
• paper..work..& school..i lurve my life...(keep telling myself that)
• room..no room..messy..lots of bj to wash..i lurve my life...(keep telling myself that)
• praise to god..me dapat duit..yeah..!!!i really need to sit down..carik masa & do the math
• i need to reschedule my life
• & in bet..2day is SOB birthday!!!!misz ya..the outing together..the smile..the paksarela pose..thanks for being such a GREARtfrenz & being there when i need u..(darling jum..u too.aaaa..dun be jealous..hehehehe)