there goes the gorgeous..lovely....jacki/e O -r/e/t/r/o look..yet...most important am HAPPY!!

12 month ..have been pinkish..coffee..travelling..gorgeous..gurly..discovery..& HAPPY me!

no regrets @ watsoever..
this has been the longest time i hvnt cut my hair since 2003..
it turn out lovely from last haircut & i simply lurve it..
noted to myself..
HAIR GROW..me MUST LOSE weight!!!

new hairband/hairgear
angelic me!!!
gosh..i just lurve attention..publicity & famous..

see those square earring..its square/cube in shape & basically its match many style..
its just not my luck..i lost half pcs of it wout realizing it...

am being so quiet nowadays..
hated myself for that..

am being so fat lately
hated myself again

napa its so hard to lose weight
napa its so hard to be 45 kg
napa its so hard to fast
napa its so hard to starve & just lose weight
napa the fat dun want to melt
napa i can be 45kg by simple way..

i so wanna to lose weight..

____________________________________

good things i do today:
shop 4 3 pieces of pant that cost me myr19 each..
(i was looking for pant..good pant..& am so happy w the purchase)

new hair cut..yup..its back 2 school again..
to think back..i look lovely w the old one..
there w as lots of lovely capture w its..
gosh..i look so gorgeous..so lovely..
takpe..its grows..& i can save moolah in between...
no regret except the memory that will haunted me till its grow back
no more dangling earling..no more getah..hairband..
& stuff that cost extra moolah to satisfied the gurly stuff..
huarghhhhhh..i miss the hair..but i cant stand the heat...the tense..
takpe its grows..i know..
despite it is me in front of the mirror...
am kinda horrified & AMAZED w my youthful look..
young..a bit tan (due to exposure to the sun over sun bathing in the pool)..
cute(am still try to convince myself upon that),gorgeous(am have to find matching outfit for that)..gosh...face the reality..its GROWs..
& in between for it to grow..

I MUST lose weight..i wanna be cruz45..
must..must..must!!!!!

5 days counting..
gosh..wat hv i achieve..?

i cant be depress@ stressful@ sad..otherwise..i go shopping

my ever loyalty phone die-live few times the past days..
hence i went blur..sad..& the idea of getting a new one..
well..i did bought a NEW one..& repair IT(so clever)..
so ive 2 working phone..tadaaaaa
being clever again..
am selling it to my mum..(she pay it when i dun hv moolah@ when i need moolah)
as she certainly need a brand new one..
am still listing the reason on being such a clever person today..
gosh..such a witty gal am i..
no regret just was thinking& calculating..

"dear god..
i pray for murah rezeki..ketenangan & kesenangan dunia & akhirat..

amen.."

need to control(HARD,WISELY)my expenditure..

in between..

am realize..feel that am gaining..huarghhhhhhh
the holiday is going to over soon..arghhhh..
I need MOOLAH!!
am fall in lurve buying this cute hair band(in fact..just bought 2 cute/sweet hair band in 2 straight days)
i need to go on date ..
i need to go & watch movies..
i need to spend/shop/spree/JUST window
i need to sight seeing & taking photo
i need to SAVE!
i need to read book-book store

to myself..
be thankful!!!!!!..
be blessful!!!!!!

i lurve going to wed coz i can wear LOVELy/fancy wear..but to be in ONE..am not sure..

i believe that woman/gal deserve/hv right to demand..
be it in her career @ her life affair....
she rules her life..as long as its doesnt against the value..

its remind me of:

"salah ke to demand 4 an expensive wed ring that u been dreaming since childhood "

"salah ke to be fussy..to be choosy coz its involve my LIFE not urs"

"Y the issue of kawin..i dun even had a decent/good man to be married to.."

"Y the issue of biological clock is TICKING IS the factor that need to be mention"

"can the M topic not to be discuss today"

AM not against any of M things..
Am not angry at any people..
Am just wanna to express my thought..
just to let me REALIZE that my HAPPINESS IS MY MAIN PRIORITY..
FULL STOP..

don't ever stop yourself from crying. just let it go.

if i must CRY..its should be a HAPPY cry..@ syahdu@ sebak feeling
if i must fall in LOVE..its should be to someone who know wat is it..
if i mUST hated.let it be the last resort..
if i must revenge..let it no be happening..
if i must chase/curse people..just pray it is not U!
if i must awake the whole night..i'll sleept the next day like a log
if i must to dera myself..its becoz am been so lazy..
if i must homesick..i must go back lah
if i must be stingy..that me im broke..kena berjimat cermat
if i must lose weight..I MUST LOSE WEIGHT lah!cant afford to be unfit

the need to lose the 10 kg...i wanna so badly to be weight as 45kg..need to PUSH myself harder..

gosh..ive plenty to write just now..but gone all the fresh idea..
& all i could think of this glorious colorful tree..
its just LOVELY..happy..sweet..romantic..not edible..
i lurve the ball deco..sweety pink ..
gosh..i just love ALL raya..!

TO MYSELF!!!
SIMPAN DUIT..BAYAR BILL..BAYAR HUTANG..JIMAT CERMAT
JGN MALAS..MUSTI skinny ...must LOSE WEIGHT!!!
must lose the flabby & fat..


i sooooo wanna to go to this place,sightseeing..taking photo..
zoo-caves-frim-bridge-museum-

i like the outcome ..
just myr 1.90 4 24pcs..

if all this is true & can makan one..
i wanna be a happy kid 4ever

my 1st ever 2006 xmas capture.
am thrill..i didnt expect it turn out to be the shoot that i like

must LOSE WEIGHT MORE..
GOSH...can feel fat around my waist..tmmy..thigh..huarghhhhhh
i need to be 10 kg lesser..
i need NOT TO eAT
i MUST DIET
im teribble unfit & look hidious..huarghhhh
nak kurus..nak lose weight cam patung....
must kurus..must cruz45!!!
no fat..no tummy..
FIT ,LEAN body

hvg a blast w the boys..
there goes my moolah..
but it was FUN..
managed to get myself a light pinky bj,berendam dalam air & ate this crave asam

new shades..yup again.

Only a MOTHER will care,lurve & manja2 her son/d from her heart..i lurve my MUM !!!..

miss the last photo F/li/ckr met up this year..
due to unplan things..
it was jalan2..
i can say its bring memories when i think back
managed to get mum presey for her & was given a dangling bracelet..
PINKish & was way very Affordable to pay(its dinda who belanja me)
noted:its suit my very angelic hair cekak..

enjoying my weekend so far..
wed stuff..frenz..belated birthday..
life has been great so far!!!
NOTE to myself:WEI..LOSE WEIGHT..CONTROL EAT & EXERCISE!!!!!

by the way..my beloved atos finally brand new..
which has cost me myr 670..
when i get the my dearie..it was like driving it for the 1st time
nervous..excited..unbelieveable..happy..
though..i need to fork some extra myr forthe calar one..new tyre..service..gosh..its gonna cost me a fortune ..which..takpe..(dalam paksa rela)..just for my dearie atos.

gals..guys..
am sending those pic..please bear w me aaaaa..
gosh..anyone to get me a dslr..@ moolah?
oh..by the way..beloved mum..gave me & twin for our 27 ..a brand new necklace(its GOLD..!!!)
hurraaaaah!!!..i love my mum..the very best..
i lurve u mama..ive told u that many times isnt..

thursday night
i ate nasi coz am hungry..(guilty..guilty)
in fact i ate a lot since am till pm..
mom cook homemade piza..i ate like many pcs of that

friday up to date
fried oily squid & tempe
fried beehoon

huarghhhhhhhh
need to diet

ive 2 best GUY in the world wide world.am i just blessful gal..

jum said i look so NICEY w longer hair..
he said i look FABOLOUS..heheheheh
no matter how cantik he is..am still the FAbolous & Gorgeous gal !!!
i need to drop few kilos more in order to achieve my wanna weight
to be rajin to clean & care for my skin..
to be STRICT to myself upon DIet & exercising..
noted to myself:
Jum like the Ik/ea daim choc cake..

this is the 2 guys that i dated last night..
2 guys in 1 night...so power one..heheheheh
both of them..r like burung hantu...siang tidur,malam jaga..
luckly myself pun like that if am not scholling
so i can COPE w their style of living-am so adaptable person
IVe FUN last night w them
its been kinda a while tha we hvnt go out together..the 3 of us.
in order to make them not forgetting me as u know guys..
they gv the tendency to forget DATE
(but not mr hitachi-he is constant fella-a bonus 4 u dear)
i text message them..call & mail...
weit LET me up!!!jom aaaaa!!..korang musti keluar ngan aku..
i know its like paksaan..but its for u guys own good..
& me too..
i need to go on DATE..WITH a good behave fella..
a safe day/night out date & u r my 2 charming lucky guys that i know wont dissapointed me
lurve u guy ....MUAHHH!!!!

"sob,jum kata aku cantik..aku cantik tak?"
& he would answer
"kau nak aku jawab jujur ke yg tipu"
(his comment is harsh but true..& i always enjoy his story)

it leave me no choice but to satisfied w JUM compliment...
this sob guys seem hard to please but tell u..
he is a very simple guys..
well..u feed him well(bg dia jgn lapar)..
let him enjoy his game(lantak pi lah duit dia kan)
let him has his rest(org kerja like owl..coz they hv a difficult pattern of sleep)
& most important..dun b late when u make a DAte w him
(gosh this can turn him into hulk & the merajuk things-ask jum..he certainly agreed w me)

us 3...am the cutest!!
wei korang..am worth more than 10K..am infinity!!
so dun ever negoitable the price yeah!

day out w JUm

am wearing a new top,a never worn yet dress,fav retro earring...
Ive FUn..dun u JUM?
managed to get myself..fav protein food..a cheap nicey myr 3 skirt,a myr 9 exercise top & tassie shield for my atos..yeah..i just lurve holiday!!!

me !

myself in fitting room..
yup..my hair is getting long..
LOOK!!at my FAb earring

my new Fav wedges..
its make me tall & it doesnt kill my legs unlike heel..
a worth buying stuff..plus i get at 50% less..

the new exercise shirt..NIcey isnt..
i just lurve the capture..
yeah..jum managed to get a top for himself..
yeah..we r bunch of GOOD frenz that lurve to pose in fitting room..
im not alone!!!

this gal is a happy grown up gal..TQ everyone..for the thought..wishes..lurve..concern..care..

READ THIS!!
life offers choices

if u can't have all,
at least have some

if u can't be good,
at least don't be bad

if u can't be totally happy,
don't be completely sad

am learning ps..i lurve wat these stuff can do w our capture..
am still learning..

i lurve the capture..
as its not easy to shoot one..as its kinda illegal to do so..heheheh

i bought this pattern of dress but its black in color..
much NICEY than the orange..

behind us is the famous K/L/CC...
taken on the top roof of al/ph/a a/n/gle.. few hour b4 i turn to a gorgeous & fab 27 gal

which one is me?

this is a nag as i need to luahkan nya..my hand r still menggigil tahan marah & i still cant cry..i need to cry .

i lost myr150 which is suppose not happen
& i really pissed of about it
i was no mood..totally MARAH..& i feel wanna slap somebody..
arghhhhhhhhhhh

the money was reserved to pay my car instalment for dec month..
therefore..i lack of myr 150..arghhhhhhh

due to the things that suppose not happen
i went numb..i was angry..TOTALLy
& i went to get myself a massage
yeah a MASSAGE..that cost me myr 70
ok..besides retail therapy..its also meant to treat myself as my body was itching like crazy the past days..am getting old i know
it was a good massage..i kinda relax & ALMOST FAlling asleep..

treat myself kebab(as its protein & eat half way only)
a black pant as i run of pant for jalan2(i forget to bring my fav pant)
some healthy snack & this new her/shey choc(as am hvg this low blood due to the menstrual)

good things i do today:
pay bills..baby sit kejap..wake up kinda early..10% of cleaning of my room..& back kinda early from mall(this is due to im still angry )

am just wanna be HAPPY & forever 15!

AM TURN EXACT 27 TODAY..YEYEYEYEYYE
am alive..am being bless..
am hvg my long waited holiday..
am HAPPY!!!

thank you all for the wish..
ive wrote long entry about my wanna list thing but since am using different pc later..

to twin..hAPPY happy 27 to U too..
i wanna dslr..please..please get 4 me
@ a gold earring..please..please get 4 me
@ moolah..yeah..MOOLAh..would be great!!!
i LURVVVVVVEEE u!!!

yeyeyye..new earing again & its r/e/t//r/o & those pinky antena..aint tit CUTE

i lurve this earring..so reeeeetro..hehehehe
am bought a retro dress already..
hv a retro hair,earing & i recently bought those comfort wedges..yeyeyeyeye
am ready to go 4 a date..u hear me that jum/sob..
wei..we need to hv our guys outing..

i lurve being a happy gal w my own moolah..
(even the work somehow make me stress..but remember..no work no moolah!)
(no moolah..no life..huarghhhhhhh..i must HV a LIFE..i MUST be HAPPY!!)

We only live but once, but if we live it right, once is enough

i like this capture

she must diet..she need to LOSE weight!!
wei dgr tak?we be supportive to make u lose the 20 kg..hehehehe
go twin..go!!!

whose legs is these?oppppsss..the red one is my new sport shoes..
yeah a new sport wear as AM suppose to lose weight

SHE HAPPY!!!!!

dietry stuff..must..must cruz45!!

lovely us!!!i like these capture..
yeah..we all do the senget thing..hehehehe

to myself..the countdown..am will always be a HAPPY gal..am will LOSE THOse FAT

What is success?
by others..
edited/think/wanna by ME

When U at 2, SUCCESS is.. having one step followed by another
When U at 8, SUCCESS is.. having friends all around you
When U at 17, SUCCESS is.. having a driving license
(I only hv it in the 20 if im not mistaken..still am success to persuade people/family to drive me around then & i think am better in road nowadays thanks to the affordable bus ride)
When U at 20, SUCCESS is.. having money to spend
(well..i used to be a shopperholic back then)
When U at 25, SUCCESS is.. marrying the person you love
(am 26(going 27)..am SINGLE..AM HAPPY ..that all i need to HV now)
When U at 30, SUCCESS is.. loving the person you married
(mmmmmm..as long as am HAPPY..takde hutang..great career,loving family & frenz..& i know i get wat i wanna i life wout somebody/someone restriction..i can still be me..a happy me!)
When U at 45, SUCCESS is.. being free of debt
(& till the day come..)
When U at 70, SUCCESS is.. having friends all around you
When U at 85, SUCCESS is.. having one step followed by another

am w broady..yeyeyeyeyyeyeye

a quick one

am at camp..
still using the slow net YET be THANKFUL gal as better HV one than NONE
at least i get in TOUCh w the world...gosh..i miss broady!!!

so..please b patient w pic that still pending to sent..
no frequent update upon mail..@ pic..@watever HAPPY stuff about me
huarghhhhhhh..i feel like am life in anciet time..

on lighter note:
its festive season again..YEPPIE!!!!
& ive few costume to match the season..yeyeyyeye
(i so wanna this k/e/ba/ya nyo/ya style baju..but still hvnt buy the stuff due to mmmmmmm wat excuse aaaa..but to think back.. am gaining kilos(OMG....)i think i need to lose weight to reward myself later..we soon see)

ive so many to write & mail..
please..please..
for tomorrow to be my broady day..

to my twin..u go GAL!!!!!

Simply buy less, cook less, and eat less.
You will feel better while you save money
and watch that excess weight slip off to reveal the real thinner, lovelier you!