today notes..

• am tired but happy.bunch of wacky happy photographer arrive here at this historical town..& there a lots of capture taken by us..am feel so satisfied.they r awesome bunch of people that share the same passion(yet they hv a way much better camera than i am).
• am feel so good & relieved that they came as it really let out of my stress things & the pressure that keep coming here
• i know that am not alone in this crazy passion..had a great talk w them..& met kinda nice guys & gal..
  
• in between i feel hurt by a frenz here..eventhough she going to leavethe place soon & kinda make me sad..but toward the end of her days here..(she also under lots of pressure)..she become a bitter person..& i was kinda hurt by her word yesterday..if only am not sick..i will certainly lend her my hand..but i was unable to wake up myself..
• but it didnt bother me much as i know she also stress w work & family
• i vow to myself that i wont accept any task given by this fella..betul2 menyusahkan saya...& buat saya really stressful on saturday..tak akan sama sekali help si pemalas itu lagi..
• need to clean my room & i wanna to sleep early today..& wake up fresh & really early..
• its been a hectic weekend..
• i lurve my job..my world..thank god!& tomorrow is a working day..yahoooooooo!
• & today i drove 3 charming f-l-i-c-k-r guys in my darling atos & its nice to hv a decent chat with this kinda of frenz..
  

*****hehehhe..cant help myself not to try it only




*****didnt buy

it would become your joy,because you'd be doing what you love."

esok hv to work & its going to be a very bz weekend & month..i wanna time for myself..

1 day am 50kg..weight back today its 52kg..arghhhh
cant blame others..only myself..MUST DIET!!!
please..edd..u dun wont to be fat..
u dun want to look hidious wearing ur baju..
must stop eat nasi..think rational..think cruzwannabe45..
must remember that lots of pant will be so tight & so hidious looking
wanna look good wearing ur shirt
wanna hv a flat tummy..cruzthigharm & the whole body system..
please..please..u must lose weight

______________________________

i know am suppose to save..stop spending..huarghhhh
the list:

• 6 pairs of earing that cost myr 20.3 pair as a given to jan
• 2 pants that was a bargain at t-e-s-c-o.black colour: myr 13.90 while the stripes:myr 16.90
• 2 pairs of black sock,90 cents each
• a black wrap dress (lurve it-like the one at n-ic-hi but lesser price)=myr 29.90
  
• a pinky colar stripes children shirt=myr 10
• a greeny children shirt=myr 3(damn cheap,material was good that i grab instantly)
• a black m-o-r-g-a-n shirt =myr 13(finally a m/o/r/ga/n...horrah!)
• a blue d-i-s-n-ey children skirt =myr 5(for jani's daughter)
• a grey children shirt as a present

& i found lots of nICE stuff to buy..but since ive lots of liability..i really cant..
i see this nice phone holder..nicey children shirt(that i can fit into)
but then again..later..i need to pay bills 1st!
& i really need to be strict w myself that i cant splurge as i wanna a new cam & a dslr
& to add..i wanna go travel..cuti2..doing adventures stuff & passport..

_____________________

work pending
room is a mess..
ive lots of bj..y do is shop for more?
ive lots of earring..y lah i buy more?

i wanna to stop time..
to let me sleep for a while..

running away is not a solution..
apa2 pun must face it..

wanna to clear of debt..
wanna more moolah..

its cuti & am sooooooo relieved..

am miss ya all

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when u love someone-i found this over net-its was true expression till' u experience the break UP!..

When you love someone - youll do anything
Youll do all the crazy things that you cant explain
Youll shoot the moon - put out the sun
When you love someone

Youll deny the truth - believe a lie(stupid..stupid!)
Therell be times that youll believe you can really fly
But your lonely nights - have just begun
When you love someone

When you love someone - youll feel it deep inside
And nothin else can ever change your mind(stupid..stupid)
When you want someone - when you need someone
When you love someone...

When you love someone - youll sacrifice
Youd give it everything you got and you wont think twice
Youd risk it all - no matter what may come(y lah so stupid..blind already)
When you love someone
Youll shoot the moon - put out the sun
When you love someone

***done that..been there..experience it all..
***maturity comes w age & failure/broken heart is the best teacher..
***live & learn=mistakes to be avoided..& no more heart to be broken
***enough is enough
***to think back how foolish i was..how childish am i..those was the day..LEARN& REMEMBER it by heart
***i WILL never let myself being torn into piece..i WILL never let myself shed a tear for jerk
***LURVE myself..!!

When you do what you love, and love what you do, you'll be smiling out WIDE!

my day was pack w my own program-thank god it was a succed one..
after much of hardwork..patient..
small step..a beginner one...& there soon be more to come..
will soon see

i CERTAINLY LURVE this CAPTURE..
feel like so stlylish..
taken by my protegE!
hehehhehehhe

__________________________________

pretty occupied this weekend..
& today i woke up so early considering its weekend..
but wat to do..

memetik to this:

"time ida balik KL.

minah tuer nama jer cikgu, tapi bussy mengalahkan CEO company.

dialah ciKgu, askar w W, warDen merangkap photograper.."

am so tired..

rasa2 u guys leh guess that who is that hanging gender wearing greenish shirt?

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i rest my case!
gonna sleep & wake up early to settle work..
its going to be a hectic one (again)for me tomorrow!

need to laugh so wide & smile so cuuuuun..in front of the mirror tommorow..

dun worry..i be ok..

to myself..to REMIND U edd!>>that u r a GORGEOUS person..that u hv the most wonderful SMILE & a BiG wide LAUGH!!..not to mention sweet loving hippest

eh sama tinggi lah..
that me..& my beloved atos
its soooooo high maintance baby..
like me..hehehhe
still..i lurve my darling atos..

i capture this all by myself..& i simply lurve it!
how i do it all by myself..well its a talent..hhehehhe

i was so bz..so tired..so stress..
that i wanna to cry..but i cant as how can cry infront of the kids..
(very unlike me..but hv to be strong !)

i am so restless that i can sleep at any corner in camp..

im so depress..that i can just sat down(thinking..(deep thought) wout realizing time flies by(brainy brain was jam at the moment)

i feel to leave all those pending..work related stuff & runaway..took mc..@ even faint at the doorway..to let them know..the stress am facing..

i even had to call wei just to hear his tickling/cute voice to comfort me
(it works wonder & it was my first laugh for the day)

reach my santuanary room when it almost 8pm..
wash myself..& was in NEED for posing..
so there u go...i simply lurve all the capture..

gosh..if i could clear my debt..@ ive big moolah..
i sure grab a new cam..not one..but 2..a dslr & a compact one..

I MISS HOME..I MISS My SANTuanry MALL..I MISS wearing MY dress..feel glam..& look so pretty..I mISS Ya all gal

am missing home..mall..& my happy stuff
wat 2 do..hv 2 work..
no work..no money..

korang..twin..yang dirai belated gal...dinda..my GF
dun worry..aku lagi 1 bulan holiday..
might be aku kena gi kursus in cuti but still cuti..W PAID..
even myself kinda broke due to atos maintance..CC..& i wanna to hv a dslr & a new compact camera..

will write more..
hv to be an angel Warden gi surau
quated nana's phrase:

"bosan nak mampos, ngn speech crap...motivasi/wawasan/anjakan paradigma... cant believe when i have children i'd go throught this crap again..... school events..."

well..ive to live w it everyday..
dimotivatekan& memotivatedkan people..hehehehe

to MEM:

"kau balik kan MEI..?sempat shop 4 the Vintage bag kan..hehehehe..kat camp nie tak de org pakai like that lagi..sana murah kan..takpe..once me dah wat passport..me definelty go there.."

there u go..my spending...gosh..need to save..berjimat..wisely spend..pay debt & bill..ikat perut..diet..

had a GREAT weekend..
ate..exercise..ate..laugh..capture..stress free..
didnt shop like i used too..but moolah abih gak..

bought a nicey fabric today even i feel a bit guilty..
as IM BROKE(had to depend on parent & bro)..
& debt & bill to pay..
gosh..really need to save & budget & totally berjimat cermat..
how..how..how..
i hated to be in debt..after this at camp..must really budget myself.

in between(yeah sinful indulgence)
bought myself a hair clip..(yup..those girlish stuff..i know)
it was so cute & relatively cheap..hehehhe
& managed to get myself a devilish red headgear..
SEE YA ALL ABOVE CAPTURE..
to add MORE happiness..
managed to treat myself w a very thin eye brow shape..ME lurve it ya!

DONE:
F-R-IM walkabout/hiking
CA-VES panjat2
ate ha-waian roti

heavy flow..was so tired..& ate a lot
sleep like a log from 3pm till 930pm..6.5 hours..
happy..happy..happy..

1 day more..bored class...then home..

its start tense..painful..but then it heal w a good laugh

stressful?
hehehehhehe

am HAPPY ACTUALLY!!!!
as i had my big laugh!
do u see my bid wide smile
(in between..its dr hetel..not hekel..managed to get info about him..hehehehhe)
to add:i lurve the big old rusty castle..look at the big garden
w some touch w moolah..it going to be an AWESOME palace!

sedap-sedapnya!!!
to birthday gal!

to april birthday gal!
i rarely take cat capture not because i dislike them..
but i rarely find nice kitty around @ even if i do..i didnt hv my neekon around..
so today was ur lucky day gal!!..
those kitty & her mummy r super duper cute..
(not so pandai w kitty..but i think its persian..& i think its no tuan one..
all those kitty & their mummy r so cute & cantik..i feel like taking them back..& pet them..
but i know i cant as i am easily emotional..but then again..it was so comel2 one..i cant help myself by not taking their capture..
at least i do bring them home..close to my thought-i blog them..)

______________________________________

i start the day w a horror start..
wake up late..unfinish work..tiredness..sleepness..
but no class..no kj..& went to settle outdoor work which i really glad i did it
all because..i have a good laugh..
a big..happy good laugh..
(coz i was taking happy capture & eat good food w awesome companion)
gosh..it was a relief..

HEAR YE..HEAR YE!!!!

april is a month of birthday..
both of my cousie..nana ..mem..& their beloved mum.. mak long

GAL!!!!!!
MANY HAPPY RETURN!!!

waaaaaaaa..
no reason to blame anyone except urself edd
reason Y u dun lose weight
reason Y u stayed up & settled the paper

i miss myself!!!!!the mos

so make sure..settled ur work!

FRIDAY:3 days in counting!
spend time for myself..alone....must2..

see the acne as close up..hidious is one things..pain is a major reason..help!

acne is killing me..pain that i can tolerate but i just wanna my clear complexion

acne yang smallish reddish & bernanah things
upper lips that so dry its created like mustache things
& i cant smile as wide as i want

healthy snack..
wanna buy other later..
very good as u ate it as achip yet no carb & very organic & dieting
only myr 4.88

this is the peri things that i had..
spicy..protein..

saturday:

work but no class from 8 am till 1215.
went to room around 1pm
went online after many attempt to sleep failed
due to the incoming annoucement that so irratating

receive call from a ex U mate here
& went out w her
had p-e-r-i chicken all by myself
after hvnt consume one(i think its > than a year)

was tempted w bargain kids clothes as only myr 5.
i wanna buy for the devilish angelic kids at home
but then again i must berjimat.

Only buy(guilty but forgiven)

• black s-0-d-a quarter pant cost myr 15
• s-o-d-a brand yellowish colar tshirt cost myr 5
• an orange 2.5 liter tumble
• a seaweed crispy spicy ..yum..yum

& the p-e-r-i meal cost me :myr 15 it was ok..

a light jalan2 as i didnt go back kan..
back to camp had a long talk w her till 4am(yup so pagi)
& wake up today at 10am

now long list waiting for me! must make question.
& report & clean my room..

my HAPPY CAPTURE!!to remind me that & to keep me SANE & my cruzgenic. 45 wanna be

dun laugh..i cook..as i wanna a healthy stuff & i was on craving!

was watching jalan2 cr makan at mummy's wir house & there showing this stuff
so i asked mummy's wir & her MIL wheather they know to prepare the dish..
they said yes & jokingly ask me to buy squid if i wanna to try it..
i grinned only & early sunday..
i wake up & drove myself to the nearest pasar pagi near beach here where there a lot of fresh food selection..
i didnt know wheather its is cheap @ not the squid as it cost myr 12 per kg..(remember i rarely cook & buy basah stuff..)..buy myself (AGAIN!)cheap yummy breakfast & headed home..
mummy's wir MIL is the chef & i help her..
it is so simple & easy to cook
& it was up to my expectation(am a seafood lover remember)
but i didnt hv many as it kinda of chewy & i dun really eat pulut unless am on crave mode
(gosh..there a lots of stuff that i ate only on crave..)

i had this 2 days in the row..
i begin to lurve garlic & ginger!!
healthy..diet..yummy!

am master in using this cooking method..
greatest human invention for a lazy people like me

the outcome..
was reading a healthy mag & discover these!!!
i lack stuff also & turn out to be vege one
i only had okra,egg plant,tomato in my fridge...
minus the okra..i had so..so..edible..labenesse turn to be crusty healthy pizza

takpe lah nana& twin..at least my broady is working..so i can mail u stuff!!!

syiok one..
i betray diet regime
i ate nasi lemak & its 3 in the row
which only cost 60 CENT!TALK ABOUT MURAH!
kesannya am so sleepy & malas..
that y i cant hv it always..only once in a blue moon



& this wat left!!!yum..yum..
im a person who dun eat rice..only ate for craving @ when my body shouting that IT need to hv asian carb ..& i dun really fancy nasi lemak & i only ate nasi lemak when it totally sedap

& this one is DEFINETELY SEDAP!!!!

only 60 cent aje!!
so cheap that i ate 3 bungkus..
its is my yestersday dinner(was to lazy to eat),my breakfast& lunch 4 today..
wow!!!!..am so berjimat!

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face getting so worse..
pimple that i wanna to get rid off..
the burning skin almost gone but the effect that left..arghhhh
now..upper lips..there kinda dry skin that irrated me so much

nana..i think i wanna buy the anti oksida from the clinic to get rid of the pimple
doc tue pun ada suruh me pakai..
this acne things worried me & its painful in between

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twinie & cousie went for their a jalan2 things
i was ok at 1st but feel so sedih after i called them
they sound HAPPY!!!!!
takpe..takpe..work..work..
no work..no money..
no money no shopping..no buying..no pay debt
so must work then we be happy then

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when back from the class today & plan to do laundry
get sleepy & wanna take nap
but..as today visitation day..annoucement keep coming in
& it disturbing me..arghhhh

force myself to jump on trampoline...
must mandi & pray after this
i gonna jalan2 w my kawan bukan teacher here in the evening
i really need a LIFE!!!!!

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lose weight..musti kurus..must be 45 kg!!!!

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"miss..masa kelas miss aje dia tak tidur..kelas lain dia semua tidur"

i was speechless for a while & wonder.

"abih masa kelas" cikgu K" dia tidur gak"

"ye miss.."

its not easy task in my line of work
constant pressure keep coming..& i do get really TIRED!
but such small inhidden compliment just keep me going..

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never in the little corner of my mind
i remember my parent bring me outing late night..apatah lagi midnight movie..
i remember that when i was a young kids..masa maghrib..my parent musti panggil masuk house even others kids r still playing outside..mom said lots devil outside masa maghrib & whenever i see kids near my house still playing outside..i wonder..budak2 nie..tak reti2 nak masuk umah ke?

& today i witnessed a fever kids(less than 2 years)
dibawa jalan2 at night time....wout valid reason
i feel sorry...sad & geram coz i know that if that is my kid..
i will never do such action..(a lesson to learn in life)
kids r fragile..especially when their sick
(i dislike sick kids...as they tend to be mengada & cry a lots..)

i think might be coz where i grow up..
young sick people must rest a lot..avoid crowd..
sleep..drink a lots of water & consume ubat

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tuhan itu Maha Mengetahui..Maha Adil..lagi MAha Bijaksana
segala yang berlaku mesti ada REASON-nye..
jika bukan ari nie..esok lusa..pasti ada jawapannya

satu yang tuhan janji..
sentiasa lah berusaha...

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I WANNE BE STRESS FREE..
I WANNA BE DEBT FREE
I WANNA MORE MOOLAH
I WANNA A FAIR LOVING WORLD


BUT RIGHT NOW..
I WISH CEPAT LAH CUTI
I WANNA TO LOSE 10 KG..MUST!!!!
I WANNA BE SKINNY!!!
I WANNA TO BE 45 KG!
I WANNA HV A CLEAR COMPLEXION
I WANNA BE DEBT & STRESS FREE

doc hekel..hehehehhe..gorgeous i tell u!

i was bz the past days w observation..class..kids & all..
was really tired..but still alive..

today kid noticed that i was different
how different i said..biasa aje
she said am look prettier..heheheh
it just make my day

& yesterday..bring my kids to health week
met my lama tak jumpa wadi..
& a gorgeous dentist..hehehhe
i had my tooth checked by him
very rare to find such a good looking gov dentist..hehehhe
(am cant keep smiling while typing these)

am my current weight at the medical check up there is 51kg..
& my ideal weight would be 46.5kg
so there u go..almost 6 kg to lose..which i need to push myself harder for 10 kg..
life aint easy..but u hv to do it right

& ive latest crave(br dua ari hvg this)
its petola sup..vegetarian dishes & i cook it as i want it to be fresh unlike buy one
not bad & i been thinking to seriously eat garlic & ginger like sweet(the fresh one)
well both work well to lose weight & a healthy stuff..
well soon see

wat else..am missing home & etc..
but still can tahan one..

esok ada observation..
am ok..but worried..
the weekend bertungkus lumus settlekan kerja saya..huhuhuhu

1 day only..then it be ok..