home for a while..

im blur..

i feel fat..

i feel the burden

i wanna cry

i wanna punch myself up

i feel angry to myself hated myself like this..

Y cant life be more simple

less demanding zero pressure

less expecting & hoping

Y cant everything be according to plan

it just me angry at myself..

hurghh..

.i wanna myself to cry physically..

a new google..cute & differ one. hahhaha..the child in me

a new h/bag & its m*g.. discounted 50%

in between..
w the guys for midnight movie..
luv both never lesser than others

this kursus a bit relax even bored a bit..
but takpe..i manage to relax at home..that the most important isnt
i learn a lot..
hv my energy little by little..
i think i gain ..huragh....
diet..diet..diet

i think my body hv the attitude to eat a bit a lot
after sick...
mmmmm..
im still wrak to be harsh upon myself though...
alo...myself..u wanna lose weight isnt..
lost the 10 kg i must!!!

anyway...
guys..frenz..
bz..bz am i...

to my fizan..
'HAPPPY BELATED 27..U STILL CHARMING I KNOW"

to my nudge...
"happy birthday 27..U ALWAYS A BEAUTY ANGEL.."

god bless them w healhier & merrier life..
luv u gals..thanks for being a very GOOOOOOOD frenz

& to MR hitachi..
thanks for ur concern..
make me better u never failed

see..im so bless w GOOOOOOOd frenz...
& family.....nana twin...misssss u gal...

take care..
i kena balik gi kursus...
oh yeah!!!!

i hated to be in school...
hated..hated..

ive FEVER
IM LOAD OF WORK
& IM TIRED

KOrang
missing u guys...
i really need a vacation

im still bz..
hahahhahah

i was viewing my pic..
i thought i lose weight..
but wat i see is not wat im feel...
huraghh hated my self getting fat..
i see extra skin..hated it!
i just wanna lose weight..
w firm muscle..toned & fit..

gosh..
lose weight i must
exercise i should make the time

soupy stuff that i enjoy..gosh the kaki ayam sup that ive try at pasar malam totally yummy & good thing for the feet

i was craving to eat this @the bambo version yesterday..i ate 7 pcs of that!
yum..yum..not fat..just sweet & steamy stufff

very bz..very.bz

sorry korang
takde upload & kinda diam..
im so BZ lately
w abundant & non stop work..
i forced myslef stay up by taking those ali's coffee..
its just superb & luv the feeling of being energetic & a bit high
despite of i turn to be dizzy & demam semacam the next day

i hvnt finish the owrk
am juggling between class,the sport day,my kids,my room,my own times & paperwork
at this moment..buat aje as next week i be going HOME ...
KL..oh yeah & leave all mess(after i clean it upin 3 days..

sorry dinda ..we didnt hv the quality time over the phone..
i make it up later

twin..missing u lah..
how ur diet

nana..
u make me wanna go HOME so badly
wei..duit tu kan kau beli the neostrata kits lah..
wei aku dah order bare M tu online..lum bank in je lagi..
tgh wait my cheque..ada had limit ke

i take lots..& lots of pic..later aaa..
(tu je yg buat me sanity here plus dapat hold came 6 pixel..hahaha..wat cam my own stuff lak)

in between..
to myself:
U HV SEEN & GO THROUGH IT ALL
U CANT DEPEND ON PEOPLE HERE..
AS WHEN U NEED HELP..NO ONE WILL DO..
SO OK..BUT OTHERS U HV TO STAND ON UR OWN

bz..bz again..

today task:

• siapkan kan daty entry.its meant stay up
• pic taken promise the cikgu
• clean my stuff
• evening at 5pm budak ask to buy the ticket for school.so hv to bring them.
• take the form
• help my lead

bz..bz..bz..
hoep will stay in good mood..

ive crave for

• pizza at Jonkers...damn nice!!!!!

i didnt eat& hv proper mealon mon & tue
make myself eat as i need to be feed on wed & thrusday
friday at 12noon..i hvnt eat at all....

but one things make me smile this morning..
i see my tight like small one..hahhahah
my eyes in morning kot..hahhahaha

when u HEAR THESE again & again..

at 1045pm..i received a call from my kanda bio to ask pick up student that stuck at terminal due to the bus rosak..
ok i said despite i HVNT YET FINISH MARKING THE PAPER THAT NEED TO BE IN THE SYSTEM TOMORROW..
WELL..i know everyone much bz than me & merely me is the available people around..

im being POSITIVE SIMPLY
COZ im in a good mood today
im been surfing the whole day
eating cracker ONLY coz im glued to my sit at my heavenly room
wake up late..
not being disturb by student...
WAT CAN BE HAPPIER & PEACEFUL THAN THESE

so me drive alone there..reach there
& found the gal..
& nak distorykan they finally managed to ask outsider to fetch them coz
the gal trid asking all people in camp but no one turn out(ayooo..they didnt know me dah balik..hahahahha..that Y lah kan)

so the outsider arrived same time as me..
met the fella & TQ them coz susahpayah aje kan

"TQ yek..sorry aaa..i just being inform by the school"
"cikgu ke?"

i grin..i smile

"yeah..TQ tp saya rasa its much better saya ambik since nak masuk camp karang susah u aje"
"tul tu..takpe lah.."
"betul cikgu nie...kecik sangat aaa..ingat kawan diaorg tadi"

i cant stop smilling & feel much better

yeah..the gal that i pick r much taller than i am..
HAPPY HAPPY I AM
BEING ACKNOWLEDGE AS SUCH..

and once reach the guard..
kena tahan as usual
the gal make a statement

the camp G:"cikgu nie?"
ME:"YEAH"
gal:"miss kecik sangat..guard tu pun tak caya miss cikgu"
ME:"hahhahahah"

how often people will said like that aaa..
yeah..me perasan stuff..but it does feel GOOD..
biarlah kan..heheheh..

kecik cruz..means..
YOUNG..MUDA..SCHOOL GAL..
FIT & SLIM..COMEL..HAPPY GAL!!!
ANTI AGEING..NO WRINKLE..

my very last day..at home..huarghhhh..nak cuti lagi..

my dinda..slim figure..way to go DINDA..2 week more!!

im so small..

the two of us..

SAYA TINGGI!!!
IM TALL!!!
saya 12 thn lah
im 12 years kids!!

again the hair syle..
if im fair a bit sure like japan tourist..hahahha
but im proud of my skin color..
& im so in luv w striking pink!!
& the small cute bag that i got..hahaha...
i feel like professional!

i luv flower..& i just luv being in this kedai at ps..
damn cheap flower..hehehheh
i told jum if he& sob intend to get me flower(mana tau kan) just buy this kind lah..@ few others..
cheap but lovely & meaningful..
siap ajar apa nama this bunga..hahahha

dinda capture this..she said my feet look kecik..ye ke?
but anyway..i just luv the outcome!

this ray..our long lasting frenz since we all muda remaja..

im small gal..but bukan pendek tau korang..
this is wat we called PETITE SIZE..

to have someone in your life who thinks making you laugh and smile is important. doesn't matter who he is..LUV u guys,,tiada kurang @ lebih

me ..new hairdo..hahahha..ME LIKEY!

jum darl..my others side of me that luv to pose..man version

the guys that weh...merajuk..penat gilos nak pujuk..tak berani myself nak late again for any met up that involve him

my self...in my nyawa wearing shades..cool & so macho!

holiday..wanna more

wat hv i do during the break..
rest..makan..surfing..tidur..
huraghhhhh..
HAPPY>>HAPPY..despite of the guilty berat naik...
i didnt weight myself..& i hope it DROP>>DROP..
49kg..47kg..45 kg

food that i enjoy...yum..yum

recently hvg craving over the brownies...
coz its cheap lor & yum..yum..onmy myr3.50..mampulah..

i discover a new good food place...a chinesse halal food
me pusing tmpt tu 2 times & at 3rd masuk & order ..
luv the food as its healthy..protein stuff..dieting(minus the oil & fat)..
not heavy one meal..& mampulah..

yum..yum..yum
soupy..me luv soup as its diet..cepat kenyang..easy to eat(u just slurp the stuff..)

notice the half photo of the plastic bowl.. well the content is yum..yum soup..seafood something soup..nice..nice..me likey & i luv this capture coz i look small..& i luv the boobies capture..(its me lah wearing that bunny baju)

bargain coffee..the best stuff its refillable & its taste coffee i sanggup drove far from home to hv cups by cups of this delicous coffee.. especially when im tgh bengung..& the need of being happy.. dinda said this capture is nice coz of the rainbow color behind me..see it? me likey also..

yum..yum..protein stuff.. again its cheap & healthy coz its protein..heheheh despite the currypuff that load w oil..the rest...yuMMIES!! these version takde kat camp..so i treasure it the best

yum..yum..protein is a must...punya lah ride to eat this stuff mencabar but the reward best..best.. w cousin dok makan this stuff at the same mall..table yg sama..pose yg sama & order yg sama.. how can aaa we never get bore? first..money & health concern.. its affordable..cheap..yum..yum..protein high..takde kat camp..

see how she laugh w a good cup of coffee..its refillable..discounted..& yum..yum..

Forever young, i wanna be forever young!

im carving for food..
& i wanna diet..lose weight..

i feeling like crying now..
i stayed home only..imagine..home..
bagusnya this gal..hehehhe..

till the hour,i had this 2 pcs of mango..milo..& skyjuice..
diet..diet..
managed to get out a while looking for stuff that cousin want..terjumpa kak ana & check out price for hard cover binding

& call noni to hv brownies..
yup..craving for SWEEEEEEET..

wat i want
~more holiday
~longer day time
~stamina
~high metabolisme
~sweet drink..food
~sweet mango..
~shopping..

huarghhhhh..im so bored w a lots of things to do yet so lazy to do any of it..

i wanna dress..i wanna wear skirt & those heel..
i wanna watch movie..aircond.
i wanna go on date..even jum& sob pun categorize as date..both of them bz lah...
miss them wei..

anyway..cousin & twin bz..
noni..thank god this frenz always there when i want her...lap u dinda..sorry aaa..me craving need to fulfill..

good news..ada kursus nanti..yeah!!!tak yah schooling
& i call upon HQ to know my status about the education things & if im lucky enough..they send us(unknown people that encounter the same problem as me) to U instead of those maktab..im praying..im praying...coz if it the one at bangi..@ penang(worst case)..i be happy..hehehheh

wat else..i still hvnt bought book & pay my summon..
pray hard that i get more money..as i really need cash..(who doesnt by the way)

in between..i also wanna chesee..yum..yum..

this crave matter...i forgive myself then..

ok almost 7pm..dinda gonna pick me up...& eat we shall..
nothing can compare the happiness at home..everything is accessable..

all she need is a good laugh..money to shop..to pay saman..good food..hug..& peace in her mind

she wanna lose weight..she wanna eat..

she wanna spend on good food & clothes..

It hurts, it pains

Love hurts, it pains,

But in the end,

You can’t complain,

You may be hurt,

What those have done

You can mend,

"Damaged but not broken....Damaged can be healed."

i capture this coz the view is so beautiful..

making face..w make up on..not so wise..hehehe

To avoid looking like a clown, try these steps to choosing blush & applying it

******from the surf matter..look easy..how i wish..i can master it


First choose the color using nature as your guide, the trick is to find a color that matches your cheeks when they're flushed after exercise or being out in the cold.

For a quick test, 'spank' your cheeks & use the resulting color as a guide.
Another trick is to match your lip color.

Fair skin looks great in rose, olive in peach & dark skin in apricot or even red.

Now that you have the color, choose the right formula for your skin type.
Powder is typically best for oily & combo skin.
Cream is great for dry skin.
Liquid and gel are great for oily skin. For even better results, combine cream & powder together.

Apply foundation, eye color & lipstick. While blush is usually your 2nd-to-last makeup step (before powder), you should experiment with what works best for you. Some makeup artists like to apply blush BEFORE foundation for a more 'natural' look.

Throw out the freebie 'Barbie-size' blush brush that comes with the blush.

Use a professional full brush instead but don't use the same brush you use for your powder.

Put the blush on your brush, tapping off any excess or put a dab of gel on your fingers.

Look into the mirror and smile. This helps you figure out where the 'apple' of your cheek is.

Since you want a healthy flush, it's best to apply blush only to apples of your cheeks.
Keep color light & blended.

If you're using gel or cream, dabbing it on with your middle finger, then blend with your ring & middle finger. The clean finger will pick up any excess blush.

If you've gone a bit too heavy on the powder blush, a bit of translucent powder over it will calm it down.

For cream blush, blot the color off with a tissue.

Since gel & liquid blush 'stain' the cheeks, the only way to lighten them is it wash your face, moisturize and reapply your makeup, this time more sparingly.

Finish your look with a sweep of translucent powder.

Tips:

Clean your brushes with baby wipes. If you don't keep your brushes clean, they'll gather bacteria and transfer it to your skin.

For a sexy look, dab a little shimmery blush on the highest point of your cheekbone nearest your eye.

Using powder blush? Always sweep it in one direction. Going over & over or around and around causes streaks & can hurt your brush.

Cream blush is great for mature skin. It blends easily & therefore looks very natural. For gel or cream blush, dab a dot on the apple of the cheek and two smaller dots up the cheekbone. Blend the dots together up to the hairline.

Dusky pink blush will warm up any tired-looking skin.

What You Need:
blush
professional blush brush
mirror
translucent powder
bronzer blusher

i wanna to write so many things..my thought..my feeling..
but it turn out to be few only..

i wanna lose weight..i wanna throw the fat..
i wanna be 45 kg so desperately..
i wanna clear my debt so that i can shop happily
i see this new digi cam & its on bargain...waaaaa...wanna buy
i luv to see pretty woman..& today i see lots of them..how gorgeous they r..
luv the hair..the stunning dress..& the curve that i want..the killer shoes...
i really wanna shop..shop..& shop & i managed to control myself & buy these

a. jeans..cost be less than myr 9
b.branded long sleeve..less than myr 9

how i wish that i can buy blusher..more bj..but ive to be stern to myself..
how i really wanna blusher..but i cant as i need to lose weight 1st & reward myself then..

& so far..as per today
~i swim...i jog...i walk..& i eat>>>>ice cream..roti..asam laksa..& puyuh goreng...

& a frenz said i like berisi sikit...huarghhhhh..i know..scary..so scary...

in between..ive deep thought 4 today..but every things kinda blur at the moment

mmmmmmmm

luv & me...simply as that

i luv myself

i luv my state country..

i luv my family..frenz

i luv..cherish..treasure my gadget coz its cost me money..saving time..my passion..my luv..my possession

i luv being in the state of HAPPY..

i luv eating...i am..& i do hv crave for food

i luv to hv my weight achieve my target.

i luv to be in xs size

i luv myself more if i weight 45kg...& static/lose more there

i luv myself to feel good..to look good

i luv doing things that i luv to do..shop..capture..pose..fit & slim

i luv beach..water..sky..nature mostly

i luv traveling..luv to met people..

i luv to know that i make people happy...

i luv to be hug..and kiss..& i luv to be surround w luv..

i luv my school holiday

i luv my weekend

i luv that my friday work end at 1215pm

i luv that my atos run well on the road

i luv all the raya...its means holiday...cuti..color..food..festive

i luv my short hair

i simply luv my smile coz i dun think i look good w frown face

i luv when its rain @ sunny day..

i luv when i see the perfect blue sky..rainbow..moonlight..& glazing star

i luv when i can feel the breeze wind especially when i at the beach @ high hill

i luv my tassie & pingu

i love nice trim gothy..vogue curly hair..sexy bum & boob..>>i LUV to see & hv great body!!!

i luv to see people..the way they dress..act.talk

i luv to surf & my net work perfectly speed well on wat it suppose to be

i luv to read..to view pic & i luv to learn new gadget..knowledge even i categorize myself lembab..but determination will make is success

i luv to HV MoRE myr..

i luv to get a good treatment especialy when i do shopping

i luv to wear a comfort shoes..

i luv to carry big bag coz can accomadate my stuff..gadget..

i luv my outing gal..i luv my gal night out

i luv good movie..

i luv aircond..be in aircondition place..

i luv to walk..& i luv exercising

i luv to know that there still myr 1 purchase..

i luv good suprise

i luv to spend my weekend at home..

i luv to shop at non peak hour..

i luv dawn & sunset

i luv fresh fruit & vege

i luv good smell..

i luv FOC stuff..

i luv zoo..

ive so many things in life that i LUV..i just wanna myself to know that..to treasure that..

again the bargain!!!!

me the bunny..i just luv these suit..heheheh..i called it the bunny wear

the new wear..i always want a red wear

capture by my dinda...i simply luv these capture

me in action!

aiming & shoot..my addiction w nikon

its been my 4days home..happy..happy..happy...

latest crave...

~blusher
the 1st blusher that i bought dah finish..thanks to nana that sponsor her bare mineral blusher..best..best..suka that..but sbb few kan..so pakai budget2..

nana=kat msia ada jual tak..nak beli rasanya

anyway..since at mall yesterday..i was searching the affordable..nice blusher & the outcome is so..so..there few yg berkenan..& as usual i luv the one w names..totally different wearing the myr 50 & myr 10 nye..

i was thinking..since like my weight like yo..yo & infact like im tak turun2(hated to see myself look sendat w bj & all the fat..huarghhh)feel like to challenge myself..lose to 49 kg and i reward myself the expensive blusher...mmmmm
same masa i make w myself about the swimwear..(masuk nie ive alreadyt hv three)
mmmm..but i luv wearing blush nowadays..feel like cuter..hahhahahah

in between..few things that i managed to get recently:

a. a big brush..finally..even cant compare like the branded expensive one yet a step lah
b. a swimwear..im fully satisfied w it..cost me only myr15 aje..from myr 99..hehehhehe..

i think ive to buy goggle coz swim wout it like tak best(gals even aku tak reti swim like korang pun & still w the yellow thing..yet..my iltizam sangat tinggi..hehehe.tunggu lah..nanti)

...............................................................

~an eyeliner..
i did try this funky eyeliner..cam best je..& oklah..
when i buy stuff i like it as
-1st luv tgk
-ive fun using it
-affortable & give high satisfaction..
-sanity..leh pakai ke tak leh pakai..berguna ke tak..worth buying @ not..

hahahah..see complex being a women sbb nak buy satu barang..pikir like solving world matter & we need advisor..hahahahah

(twin & cousin...korang mana gi huh..no msg..no call..aku tgh school holiday tau...)

the prob is..im no skill to apply eyeliner..& any make up pun w the right way..
recently bila reading mag..tgk make up depa..gosh..pandainye...camne leh apply like that..especially the eyes part..gosh..

previously i dislike myself to spend much time infront mirror for make up as to me is a waste of time..sleeping is much important event..but nowadays...i just luv mirror..but face cam tu jugak...hahahhahah

see again..being a women/a gal is not easy but if FUN being one..