when she bloated & hated her recent figure& desperade to lose weight!

pricey item price nowadays...make me wanna to ikat perut..

that bring to the ADVANTAGES as i can lose weight!!!!

yup..nowadays all the barang naik harga..

for such..place where i tempah my baju increase the due to barang mahal(ive to wear bj kurung to work place...)

even the gold's price also increase day by day

anyway..i realize that ive gain weight & to my disbelief its 54 kg!
damn..this is the heaviest ever..must turn 10 kg gak!!!

truely..factor to lose weight also came from the environment & surronding

am not saying its hard to diet here..but i simply hate people force me to eat..hated..hated

i hated people ask me makan nasi & saying "kita org msia musti makan nasi"-alo..that was ages ago..& its my own right..plus i do eat..& its a way of me to eat & diet..tue yg tension

I REmember when i was at home..it was more easy..
i was more strict to myself..& my mom herself didnt force me to eat..
i recall when going out w male co-worker(this is a great tips)
only drank a cup of drink & let them finish the food..heheheh
be honest to them that u on diet-guys are much more easier to handle rather than gal..& i went jog everyday..
those are the happy day & stress free

& my dinda ..pity her..always be the victim of my diet things..hehehe
i always wanna to share food & prohibit her for excessive eating..
its for ur own good dinda & my diet also!

so family,frenz & environment play vital role in losing weight!
coz its not 1 day job..its takes months & sometimes years..
im blessed that all my beloved gal frenz share the same mission-different agenda..but motivate to lead a healthier life!
yet..the MOst IMPORTAnt motivation came from URSELF!

oh ya..been watching over net video of the skinny-anox people
this one particular video really impress me..
she is anox-skinny & showing her frenz how to avoid eating food..
its a great tactic anyway!
(dun get me wrong-i'll never get any chance to be the walking skelton-
i know myself..i lurve to eat..& vomitting is the least stuff that i will do so)
its just i really wanna to see myself weighing 45 kg..skinny..size 0..size xs..

& i hated people cook for me..& ask me to finish food that their cook,even its good yet..i eat not melantak & bloody its not good for ur diet

Y i really wanna to lose weight?

ive write so many times..its not impressing others..

its about myself..i wanna feel good about myself..

I WANNA LOVE mySELF MORE..I wanna be HAPPY about myself

I wanna to lead a healthier life..i wanna to be FIT,FULL OF STAMINA..

I WANNA be ENERGETIC

Y lah people must be typical..

must DO:

• LOSE WEIGHT-45 KG!
  
• NO LATE SUPPER
• LOTS OF H20
• NO FAT FOOD
• NO SOFT DRINK
• NO NASI
• NO LEMAK-NO FAST FOOD
• FASTING/DIET
• EXERCISE
  

"thanks edd,u make me feel confident to take picture..as in the past i hated to see myself in the capture"

"w u edd,i enjoy bergambar"

"edd,u make me feel lawa lah in ur capture, me like it lah"

"kau tak ada tak best lah ida,balik cepat,sapa nak ambik gambar kita org karang"

"kau nie edd,pelik lah,ambik gambar aje,tp ok gak kan..baguih gak kau nie yek"

these are some of the compliment that i get-langsung @ tak langsung from my beloved family & frenz..
am glad in my 28 years of my life i somehow did some good things in a life of others although some of my capture is still amature..am still learning & hope to be the best..

i believe anyone can take capture..yet..there must be a passion & lurve & crave & the appreciation of all the simple things in life..

ive learn that its not how big ur tool r @ how huge is the pixel r but on how u view the capture/pose & u managed to preserve the emotion in just one click-its not easy ..yet practise make perfect!

despite all those jelingan(narrow minded people) & kutukan ("apa lah camera kau ida-lembab" & "ingat camera ida cant gerak2..static pose aje":fav statement from twinie & cousie)..i still believe on my my neeeeeekon camera & the talent that i have..it is sanity..the inner strength & my happiness..

_____________________________________

lately am feel so bloody stupid
my intelectualnest is draining from me
lacking of reading,surfing,intelectual chat make me feel so insecure,
brainless & not motivate at all..

i hated myself in this condition

yup!i hated to see me

• fat,hidious,chubby
• stupid,lack of reading
• grumphy
• crying & moody

I NEED TO READ!!!!

___________________________________

life kinda tak terurus w non related work..
was spending the past few days mentoring the kids in jungle
& work like usual at the academic building..(will be like this till november-my big state-holder is pain in the ass & very2 intelligent in using d employee to the max)

yup..we are hyperactiveseperdupyextremely talented hardworking teach-ers!
i was unofficially photogrpher during the whole camping..
after class ended,went to the jungle w bj kuru-ng..
yup guys!!!!its bj-kur-ung!
lucky i didnt wear my heel!

in between hv i told u that i lurve my D-d so much

work was hectic,am bloody lazy
i really need:

• to hv more space for my ab-by dell
• lose weight
• my own external drive
• buy myself a cd
• save all my file
• clean my room
• & buat kerja saya
• JAGN MALAS
• EXERCISE
• IKAT PERUT_DIET

second day my night life is spend w the kids in the jungle..
yesterday was worst..as it was raining cat & dog..
& i didnt sleep till 6 am in the moring
& today..off there again..

gosh..i miss my own room..

am writing from fizan's place & we going out after this..yeyeyyeye
am getting fat..arghhhhhhhh
hated..hated..hated..
need to lose weight..
after this kena watch diet..exercise..ikat perut
esok kena wat improvement to myself..

went breakfast w the class as am their class teacher..
went w the geng-4 gals & a guy-it was fun outing!!
i did enjoy myself & lots of interesting capture w D-d
one things about frenz at camp here that close to me is
their lurve to pose-no malu2 one..& accept my passion as normal
& some turn to be no shy2 one person & appreciate my work...

photography is my passion..my fondness.
talent that i discovered & learned to appreciate & value..
my 1st camera was the analog one..that i bought using my study-moolah..
there was 2 analog camera that ive own..
then there neeeekon 1..that i treasure so much..
followed by neeeekon L2 & my D-d
nothing can stop herself to more good things in her life..
this is wat she lurve..she found it!!!

an outing w my frenz here
let me discover lots of things..
i met person..who i tought would be extinct from the world population..
it not that i falling in lurve @ watever..just i hv more respect & my perception
toward the person is different..
i respect the person for his respect & lurve to his family,how the person really appreciate
each penny that he own..respect toward woman & .
to me..this is his inner beauty..

& raya is coooooooming soon..
& ive pack my bag..yeaaaaaaaah!!!

i makin malas..

***dinda was emailing me new mall..read that MALL!!!..cant hardly wait to windows there!
***i NEED HUG!!
***i need to lose weight,save my moolah,no shopping,IKAT perut,EXERCISE!!!

suddenly am wanna to hv su-shi & greeeen tea..
oh ya..am hvg my flow yesterday-sunday at 645pm-how cool is that!
& today..the flow was really silent pain yet smooth
i sleep like a log & there was lots of blood outta of my body system
was no appetite to eat(great-REASON to LOSE WEIGHT)

she need to pay her debt-ikat perut-lose weight.....yet she is still happy as she know D-d is around her-

tmom & daughter..
her second daughter is sooooo cute..
she was w me..handling the kids at camping last year while carrying her daughter(in her belly-so basically there was 5 days
& 4 nights so it make me knight of honour..)
am comfortable working w her as she was very easy to work w
& unlike others typically people here & i find her as a good frenz to be with..
she is my others collegue & we share the same big happy family(home-room)

Y am posting the capture?
i like her kids..so cute one..
& i truely lurve the capture..
i fall instantly lurve in it once the capture appeared on the screen
& i happy to say that this is my fav & best shot of the day!

had u watch the latest c-an-on adv on tv..
to me its a happy adv & really really resemble me
especially the one jumping on a sand to get a nice capture..
my D-d have completed me..

am in process of taking myself capture using D-d..
as its a bit bulky for my hand unlike the rest 2 neeeeekon..
& practising it well..so far so good..
above are the food that i ate..
a spicy burger,small fries(foc w a card) & regular size of mi-lo

the only things that make me since the past day was my Dd..
no regret..@ watsoever..
but hv to ikat perut..

oh ya..hated to see those cc statement..
i wishes to clear it all.... ikat perut..tahan nafsu..
NO spreeeeeeeeee must berjimat..no makan...
spend wisely...

oh ya!!!! no nasi at all semlm.. t
here was occassion at camp..boring.. food was boring..
& went out to hv Mc-d..-i was so full(even didnt eat much)
& i like it..
i need to lose kilos..need to be anox..need to be in 45 kg..

hEar that fat!!!!..out of my body system...!!!!

i need to clear up debt
so berjimat is wat the best suit me now..
am bored!!! this is a boring weekend..

cepatlah period..cepat lah raya!

was checking the boys at dorm..blocks..
arghhhhh..betapa biadapnye the human monkey..
i was beyond word angry at them..
no respect..no manner..
i guess that y their so worse in the result..
i may make streotype..but yeah..there r..
human monkey..bodoh belagak..

now..no more the softer side of helping the monkeys..
geram bila pikir..
there one kids yg i didnt teach,came to me at the lounge,berlagak
ask me to bring him to bank..
of course i say NO..nampak sgt using me..
now..with this accident happen..i totally lose the baik touch..
all the money spend in them by camp..i think is a waste..

in between..hv to belasah budak2 my block..

to MC @ not?

i couldnt sleep as i sleep in noon & after if-tar
& here i am..cant sleep w messy room (lazy ) & laundry to wash

am waited to the day of pe-riod
yeah..my tummy is aching..my body work again me..
am become lazy......arghhhhh

feel likke MC today.....mmmmmmmm

now where do i put the invoice..
i already gave to the administrator(baru teringat while am writing this down)

she & D-d..

met my D-d..
aint he grant..precious..& suitable w me..
more bag to carry..but i wont mind..

my capture using Dd..
mum's rose..byk kali dah berbunga..
i think if it mine..its be reserve..heheheh

she is different..that is wat special about her..

the mall was empty-its close already..
that Y she had the courage to do stunt like that..

if ive money to waste..
i'll spend on this..
post effect-walking in the air-BLESS!

there once a manggo tree in the middle of the hugs!

ok..i admit..my newest crush!
he is so re-tro like isnt~
go watch ha-ir-spr-ray!

Y 0n earth people would waste their month' salary on a gadget
Y on earth people spend time w lense..click..capture..
there shall be endless question..
but the 1 precise answer is PASS-ION..LUR-VE..
& am one of them..
finally..
my all wanna list--i shall named it my D-D..
still in process of learning my D-D..
wish me lUCK!

_____________________________________

the weekend..ive a lovely time
spend on 2 movie in a day which really2 good(i dun know about others..this is my personal point of view)

h-air-spray
SUCH A HAPPY-VIBRANT film
lurve the act..the song..fashion sense(its retr-o baby!)& the value inside the film.
i remember i watched the original of it-still the re-making is interesting as the 1st!

knock-ned(betul ke spelling)
anyway this is also a gooooooood film..
its 18 P-L yet so informative-lots of value-& u learn lots of stuff

& its not a waste of moooolah to spend of each movie
guess that its been a while i hvnt catch any good movie..

________________________________

i hvnt setteled lots of my work-PADAN MUKA SAYA
i feel that am fat-wei KURUSKAN DIRI ANDA!
i hate my extra tummy & fat
i MUST REALLY DIET..EXERCISE..EXERCISE
I MUST BERJIMAT as ive need to SAVE MY FUTURE..MY SUSAH TIME
IKAT PERUT..TAHAN NAFSU..NO SHOPPING..WISELY SPENT ON MYR/CENT
IKAT PERUT..THEN LOSE WEIGHT..CAN LOTS OF SAVE MOOLAH

OK am broke..
NOTED TO MYSELF-SAVE & BERJIMAT

______________________________

noted :

i pray that god will limpahkan rezeki yg melimpah ruah-
disenangkan kehidupan here & thereafter
i pray that the words of the given mooolah is going to be true..
i really hope so..
i pray that i win any contest that i sent
i pray for a better life..better day..better me..
i pray for the healthiest, happienest & kesenangan of my beloved one..& myself..
i pray that the world will become a better place to live..

amen..

_________________________

experience in life tought me a lots..
there a happy moment-sad-scary-excitement
& watever there are..its wat u learn at the end
weather is its good @ bad..

i hope i become much better person in future
there so much EXCITEment in life that i didnt enjoy @ seek in past
i dun want to regret later then..
so i shall make myself HAPPY..
i shall make my moment
i shall live the life..

its isnt hard right..just obstacles in the way..
but that the whole ideas..

_________________________

i admit that i so wanna to lose weight so badly
Y i must lose weight..
can read my previous entry..
i determine..I wanna..i MUST..
__________________________