sleep late..wake up early
wash laundry yet room still a mess..
am struggle to make my fail tip top & well presented..arghhhhh

jog about 1 hour..& had a lots of coffee..
its a great weather today..

myself must clean the room today

pretty sight that i cherish!!!

am worried

had a great talk w a frenz here:dalam hidup nie..wat we really want is HAPPINESS & PEACE

my messy room..
my heaveanly bed..my new kids mat
my new pinky stripes shirt
& my new stripes pant

now get to work..jgn malas..musti settlekan kerja
& exercise!!!!!!!

---------------------------------------------------

its friday..finally..
wanna to go back..
but when i think of the jam that im gonna face..
cancel all..

i need to hv a steady mood as i hvnt finish my work..
type attendance..rph..pikir apa nak deliver..
arghhhhh..
on monday..kena settled all nie boleh kan..
saya musti gak!!!

& today..went to mp..
happy2..happy..happy..
me bought:

a work pant=myr19 exercise pant each 4 mom & me=myr 19 3ach
exercise pinky strips shirt=myr 14
make up-spf foundation(the mousse one)& whitening cream(getting so tan that im so worried about)
alas kaki & spread at really affordable price(the gal was very good in charming customer like me)
a greeny firefly sandal=myr18( i wanna it to match my greeny dress)

i see nicey shoes but didnt buy coz tak mau membazir..
i still wanna repair the black carlo that only damaged at it sole..

& thank god i remain firm on not buying any as i clean up my shoes rack..(am throwing 2 shoes)

i found that i HV MORE THAN ONE SHOES THAT I DIDNT WEAR AT ALL,WEAR ONCE..WEAR ONLY IN MY ROOM(for the sake bergaya) & sHOES THAT SO ON BARGAIN THAT I CANT RESIST TO BUY..

MYSELF:NEED TO SAVE..JIMAT DUIT NAK BELI DSLR & PAY DEBT! MYSELF:NEED TO LOSE WEIGHT..SELUAR KETAT..BUTTON UP SEEING BRA.I MUST!

am so desperated to lose weight
am a big tense..

i feel just wanna runaway
i feel just wanna to end it

today was ok..not so stress..i lurve camp wout class..
today i ate nasi(broke the rule)arggggggggh..i dunna wanna be fat again!!
guilty..guilty..marah diri sendiri

today also w diverse mood..
happy..sad..tense a bit..etc..

but a call & a chat w my two fav guys..jum & sob..
i cant help myself by not smiling..happy..& feel good!
guys!!!!!i miss u both!!!

____________________

in between..hated my weight..my fat..
arghhhhh
hated wat happen to my face also nowaday..
hvg pimple..breakout..hitam..sunburn..
am so bloody hidous..arghhhhh
make it worst..on top of my lips..is so dry..that its hurt
the weather was so HOT that i hate to see my face..dull..gelap..arghhhh
i wanna hv a clear complexion..

_______________________

i wanna to be STRESS FREE..
I NEED A HUG..& MOOLAH..& CUTI

___________________

I REALLY WANNA TO BE SKINNY..
WANNA TO BE WEIGHT 45 KG!!
Y IS IT SO HARD?

__________________

this is wat known as remis..yeppie..discover another NICER beach..

the reason to lose weight...coz i look fat..i feel so fat..arggggggggg

aku bengang betul lah..

aku kan masuk kan a schema as to gain untung..that all..

then tadi org tue promote aku masuk kelas yg cost myr 500.

dapat benefit..so & so on

arghh aku dah lah nak guna duit..

tak kuasa aku..

if org nak masuk..org akan masuk..

nasib baik lah org tua...hisg..geram aku

aku tak kisah nak dgr all those wasted talk

(lend the ear..if aku rasx baguih..baguih lah)

..but i dislike people who push..

aku tak mau..tak mau..

tak yah nak kata it such a waste

myr 500 tue byk lah..macam2 aku leh buat..

yg ari tue pun aku tak pasang kat keta lagi

siap ceta belajar 5000 then dapat keta(sumething like that lah-)

i dun need others car more than my atos..& if i wanna @ hv to further my study..

i wanna do it FOC @ at my own interest..

aku tau kakila sama nana baca nie musti tgh angin gak kan

dun worry..aku dah settlekan those annoy stuff...

nak kongsi geram aje nie..

myr 500 to me is very precious..

i can make passport...go vacation..pay bill & debt

& I DUN REALLY hv time to attend those class..u freaky pushing people..

wow..that a relief!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

arghhhhhhhh..

geram aku

any how..am good!!

i wanna to save..

i wanna to be kedekut

i wanna to berjimat..

i wanna to lose weight..

its hard but kena buat gak..

morning blues..

nice kan..BIG..STUNNING..ON DISCOUNT..BRANDED
me likey!!!

_______________________

feel like to go on vacation..
but timing is the problem..
gosh..can imaged myself guling2 atas pasir..
act like tourist..

______________________

hvg kids is a bless..
but it comes w great responsibilty..
wat i lurve the most when bring kids jalan2 is
the treatment as a customer is different..
can get sit quicker..offer..bargain..
yesterday prove it all..
the drawback is..
kids r spoil human being.
hv to follow their mood & so on..
bored..bored..bored

_____________________

i really need to lose weight..
ive to fast..must diet & EXERCISE!!

______________________

my heaveanly room r so colorful
just bought some kids mat for myself..
some kids toy & etc..

____________________

must wake up earlier than this..must..must

need to lose weight...
arghhhhh

arghhhh..i need to lose weight..
need to burn the fat..

seluar pakai sudah ketat
i cam feel the fat around the tummy
arghhhhhhhhh

gosh..am gaining..
am look fat..am feel fat..arghhhhhh
stop eating nasi..MUST SERIOUSLY EXERCISE & DIET>>

its broke my heart when pakai seluar ketat ..arghhhhh

saya musti kurus

visit2..cuti2..jalan2..NOW:back to hectic life!i wake up so early today

mission of the day!
-
LAUNDRY
-BANK & PAYMENT
-CLEAN ROOM
-SIDAI BJ

i miss myself

am back..& rush for my net & abby del..
it was a heaveanly weekend-i slept well & no tense
the drawback was lack of exercise..ate a lot..& hv to go back work..

but it was ok..at least i managed to cuti2 & work..

now need to concentrate as am being observed on 2nd april..
still blur still dun know wat to do..& so on..

be leaving for work matter

am at camp..
the phone died on me yesterday but thank god
the phone company come & repair it after i lodge a complain
i was worried more not getting online..& am really satisfied w the prompt services

i was no mood today..really i am..
no mood at all..& hated school..
thank god today class was not hectic..so balik rehat till three..then ceramah..
arghhh..huarghhhh..i miss home already

hv to go back today..huarghhhhhh
start the day at 930am..
breakfast & off 2 jj e-q-ui-ne w medic bro
who wanna shopping...yeyeyeyyeyey!!!
am so good in shooping spree that people invited me to join them..hehehhe
the goodness of retail therepy....(managed to get from my bro a short pant cost myr 15
& a fibre underwear that was 50% ..see how good am i in this area)

ive try the dress that i bought yesterday & i lurve it so much..
kinda retro touch..now i need to find a matching shoe
(i still hvnt replace the shoe that i gave to mak cak ..no size & not available..need to find it..must..must)

& today...pack i must & balik ive too
sedih2 but mama said

"no work, no money
no money..cant shop..
cant splurge..cant pay debt

so work i shall & must
me lurve it"

cuti nak abih..hish..hish.kena balik

yesterday was the night market
spend myr 14 buying myr 10 for pear(somehow it remind me a lot about wei)
myr 2 for adik fir-his kebab
& soya stuff 4 me myr 2
spend nicely time at home..

& today..ive FUN w myself
spend time treating myself jumpa doc
then splurge on a nicey r-e-t-r-o dress(lurve it so much)
2 pairs of earring(big ones & color that i lurve..arghhh rasa menyesal tak buy more than 2 as it was bloody on discount 60% -80& s-u-mm-er set bay stuff)
food-sizzling & bu-bble tea
capture picture..& lots & lots of walking
gosh am so easily tired nowadays & so lazy to walk..
arghhhhh..must rajin
saya MAU KURuS..MUSTI KURUS!!!

hope tommorow be a GREAT day..

LOOK!!!!!!this is HAPPY meant to me..where i can be whatever i wanna be!!

NOTES TO MYSELF:

SAVE MONEY LAH>>>>BERJIMAT CERMAT

MUST LOSE WEIGHT

MUST BE PRESENTABLE>>>JGN MALAS JAGA MUKA

x kerja tak de duit..kena kerja..
am broke now..
thank god ada brother from heavean...
now..edd..remember these:

MUST LOSE WEIGHT>>>DIET..JAGA MAKAN>>EXERCISE

BERJIMAT>>>SAVE MONEY>>>JGN BOROS>>CLEAR THE DEBT

lurve & care urself more b4 others...sometimes i do miss my black long silky hair..most of the tense time..i miss myself

i wish that am weight only 40kg..
i really wish to lose weight
in so wanna to be in 45kg weight..
I REALLY WANNA TO BE SKINNY
I REALLY WANNA HAVE A LEAN &FIT body
I MUST achive that!!!

----------------------------

my hair is getting long
congrat to myself

----------------------

i really need a new camera
i really need a dslr
i REALLY NEED MONEY
i wanna go for abroad vacation
(p/s: mr hitachi: awat hang pi tak kasi tau saya)

_____________

hv to save money..buy necessary stuff ONLY..clear debt & care the most for my love one

am broke..teribbly..
my dad told me kinda"teruk punya tuan keta" leteran
bad..bad..bad me..treating darling atos so badly
am so teruk..am so sedih..am feel so bad..
lepas nie kena really take serious about atos
am teribble broke for causing atos like this..
am also susah diri as atos dearie is not around..
arghhhh..LessON to LEARN!!!

___________________________

today managed to do lots of stuff..
n-i-k-o-n stuff..beautification..
spree..movie..good food..
gosh..i really miss my so called happy life..
happy..really feel alive as managed to see lots of sexy stuff..hehehhe
oh ya..i really enjoy the movie..both in fact..two in the row..
lurve it!!!!

_____________________

nOTES:

THE NEED TO SHED KILOS
THE NEED TO CRUZ45
THE NEED TO BE IN SIZE xs..
the NEED TO BE WEIGHT 45KG

I MUST~!!!!!!!!!

__________________________

its hard to be in lurve again..
noted that edd!
as u dun want to get the same failure..
as u dun want to be somebody for coz of others
as u dun want to ruin urself happiness & freedom
as u really tired w those relationship..

___________________________

SAYA TAK MAU GEMUK
SAYA PERLU KURUS
SAYA MUSTI KURUS..
BACK TO THE BASIC DIET

_____________________

i guess when u truly luv & enjoy doing somethings
u dun mind at all doing it wout byk membebel
i lurve camera..taking picture..bla..bla..& bla
& when ive done..hv to upload..sort it & email it
thank god i didnt expert doing the photo-shop thing otherwise am going to be such a photo geek
but i didnt mind at all..its make me happy & full satisfaction at the end of the day

in between its holiday..
atos still hvg the fever & cough..
me kinda a bit broke
so i stay home & baby sit the kids..
& enjoy the pleasure of big screen
& when jog at my santuanary park
simple heaven..clear mind..stress free..
thank U god!

lots to write & all..
but idea all gone..later lah..
cya all..muah!

for my atos..i lurve u more & more...never ever let me down kay

atos darling die on me yesterday(for about 3 hour)
battery die & thank god hubby to mummy wir was around & i called for S-O-S
change to a new battery cost me myr 150 & need to replace the battery rod as recommend by the mechanic..

lesson to learn>>>>>>>LOVE UR ATOS more & more
& in between b4 all those memorable experience happen..
managed to get atos darling a shower love that cost me myr 9..
(correct me if am wrong but if its not the 2nd time,it could be the 1st time in 2007 i gave dearie atos a tender loving shower...)

& today(for about less than 4 minute)
its stop in the middle of the road..
i was more calm(yeah..i did)
& thank god it as ok then..

& tomorrow gonna bring darling atos for medical check up..
for those hip cup & spa treatment..
need to get atos new cloth also..

i just lurve holiday..

am back to be HAPPY!!!!!!

my BIG breakfast this morning..protein i must!!!

__________________________________


yesterday at 12am plus mummy wir treat me w the yummyious fried rice & the spicy fresh home made blend chilies..arghhhh..fat already..

the only things that maintain me is the xncl..
really need not to eat rice start TODAY saturday 10 maC..
REALLY NEED TO BE FIT
REALLY NEED TO EXERCISE
REALLY NEED TO WATCH MY FOOD INTAKE
MUST EXERCISE!!!!!!!
______________________________________

twinnie 1 aNNIVErsary wed!!!!
COngrat !!!!!
she wanna a digital C but me also broke..
wanna save for dslr..so kau doa aku cepat kaya -AMEN-

___________________________

going home for cuti after i clean my messy room,wash my clothes,buang sampah,cuci my atos..
yUP..byk kerja ..heheheh
am so glad its already cuti..YEPPIE!!!!

am still at camp due to i dun want to rush..
am taking my sweet time..
2day errand:
work wout class-free eating & no stress
eat at pantai then sleep till evening
wake up & surf -managed to apply the download stuff..yeppie!!!
send frenz to bus station & treat myself w jalan2 at j-onkers street
(treat myself w 5 earring that cost me myr 10)
(treat myself corn in a cup=mur 2)
(treat myself w coffee can drink=2 can myr 2.80)
(h-e-r-se-y marshmallow=myr1.50-reserve for adik firdaus)

& i ate lots of oily stuff
-10 spoon of mee goreng
-2 kuih kacang
-nasi w fish masak lemak

arghhh..this cuti must check & balance my eating stuff
need to be cruz45..need to shed kilos..need to be skinny

anyway..im so grateful its holiday..THANK YOU GOD!

its HOLIDAY!!!!!
yeyeyyeyeyeyeyye

i shall & will own these!!!work hard..penny wise & spend

alhamdulliah..managed to pay bill & settled all the needed payment
just leave the room phone bill..the cc..& must think how to gain MORE MOOLAH!!!
arghhhhh need to financially wise & berjimat..
so that i can pay hutang & spree in between

must hv stuff & to do for short term money wise:
-save moolah..spend money wisely
-buy myself D/S/L/R
-P/A/S/S/P/O/R/T
-getaway..treat for myself(must FORCE myself to SAVE & DIET & LOSE WEIGHT)
-organized my files & work

START OVER AGAIN..DIET STUFF..I WANNA TO BE 45 LKG

breakfast at 9am,i had 10 spoon oily bihun & 2 spoon of nasi w kopi O
work & had the poo things & had my day over at 2pm(finally mnaged to get home early)
was really tired & took nap & wake up to know that meeting at 2pm is CANCEL>>>>YAHOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

continue heavenly nap & wake up pretty hungry

fed myself w high contain fat:
-cold kacang hijau that i store for two days
-tomyam ma-gg-i
-2 pcs of mango
-1 slices of roti w peanut courtesy of my fav srwkian
-moc-ha mi-lo
-hot tea
-melted icecream
-half pieces of cold keria that ive stored up for 3 days in fridge

lots isnt..& certainly not healthy stuff..

arghhhhh..diet..exercise..wat had happen to me?
was reading cousie mail..really inspire..
MUST LOSE WEIGHT
MUST BE SKINNY..MUST BE WEIGHT 45 KG
MUST BE IN XS SIZE..MUST HV FIRM & FIT BODY

WAKE UP!!!!!!!

need to surf for idol..size 0..dead skinny body..
if ive to be an anox just to live the wanna weight..i will & shall..
****MYSELF NOTES:must be 45 kg
flat tummy..firm arms..thigh..lean & fit body...

only myr3 w the sotong,fried egg..lots of sambal ,water spinich & begedil..yummy..yum!

eat super as lot lately..& 2day i ate nasi TWICE..arghhhhh feel so fat..lots of fat stuff..arghhhhh i feel am gaining..am look fat..

huarghhhhhhh
really need to back to my basic diet & DIET!!! keep in mind that i cant be fat..I MUST WEIGHT 45KG!!!!!!

ate a lot..oily stuff..uncontrolable..hungry..nafsu..arghhhh..no diet stuff
was in stress the pass day..was really need to let it go..
home i was..mall the long waited place where i enjoy my weekend
it was good i might say..to be away from people who r so shallow minded..
to get away..to breakaway..to be in peace...

am at my room..
broady was ok @ else i might get cranky..upset & bloody net who didnt know to provide good service..

im so looking forward for cuti..
yeah..7 days of heaveanly rest

am still writing wheras am suppose reach home by now..
but am wanna utilized the net speed..i wish & hope & wanna & paid for this kinda of speed..
i wanna it to stay last..the reliable speed..
i can tolerate the not balik thing..but never ever not able to be online..
yeah..it is an addiction..but as long it keep my sanity & HAPPY..i dun care about the rest..

inow..where do i put my recent bought dress..
did i told u guys that ive bought & found a stoney made earring at affordable price..
nice..simple..
despite all the perception im getting from the shallow minded people here..
i care non about them after that..(even at first i was really stress ya)

need to financely wise..
need to pay bill..pay debt
need to save
need to lose weight
need to get myself a new glass as power getting worse
need to EXCERCISE & BE FIT
need to get hug
need to wear my make up
need to be ..feel & LOOK SLIM
need to stop eating fat food..
need to work..

i hear on the jingle that i-k-e-a hvg sale..yeyyeey
i just browse my account & ive debt to pay..a lot..huarghhh
i was dreaming of home & mall & my santuanary place
i wanted my broady be speedy as its worth to be
i wanna to lose weight so badly but was lack of motivation

i really need to get out from here

im still tension w my broady..
is the net giving prob @ its the abby del..

i need to get put from here

gosh..am totally mad w my broady..
the connection speed..
argghhhhh..hv to make modification..trial & error..
arghhhhhh..dissatified client

arghhhh..work hasnt settled..
ive NO MOOD>>>
& today w pack with classs..
arghhhhhh

a bit better..i just wish i can cry harder
cant sleep due to the pills
no mood to settle the report..
room was a messy w laundry & book..
i hated being in stress..gloomy

tommorow will be a bz day..arghhhhh
i wish 4 weekend..cant hardly wait
backup plan..runaway..

i miss myself..i do..the most..
i miss my laugh..i miss my smile..
sometimes i wonder..hv i make the right choice..
is too late to retreat..
wat can i do now is pray..be patient..go along w the crowd..