the reason Y

me ganti this person coz she went to meeting..
my 1st class on monday..serious..ive no mood at all..
luckily..ive fun w this class though im not totally prepare for it..

then when my real class is..the class is totally SUCK!!!!
honestly..i just HATED them..
dah lah tak buat kerja..
dah lah buat kerja cam sial..
geram nye..
dgn emotional..dgn tak nak participate in class..
dgn gedik..dgn pasif nye..
honestly..this is not my very fav class..
i just dont know Y..
they dissapointed me..
all the 25 student..
might be coz of me..coz im so tak reti teach..
might be my skill r so bad..
might be im bored...
but the ive fun w the morning class...
honestly..
i just feel down..feel demotivate w them..the rubbish student..
i know i cant said it but Y..
other can give me that kind of cooperation..
but them r just pemalas...
i know i cant said this bad word..but im so depresss here...

can u believe that im so eager for the school holiday..
im so eager the class is over..
im so eager i no class time..
im so eager weekend..
so that i can rest in peace..
in harmony..
to gain my confidence..my strength..my motivation to work..

its not only me i believe encounter such feeling
my camp mate also face the same trauma..but they here more lama than me..
gosh..its just been like 4 month here..but i complaining a lots..

i know..i realise...
huarghhhh..at this very moment all i can think of
balik kl..
gi shop at BB..shop kasut..shop bj..
jalan2 at Ptlg street..
swim..
jog( i hated myself like im gaining lots)

here i make sure that in order to remain alive..sane..
i surf net..i blog..
i keluar dr camp.at least a pasar pun jadik..
my room must be clean...
& i try to be least contact w the student..when i in my hostel..

dear god..
please help me..
give me motivation to work..
dont ever make me bored..
im might not a great student b4..but i know that im a GOOD one..
a friend of me told me that a great teacher doesnt mean he/she used to be a great A student..
but a one who used to fail..then gain success after lots & lots of hard work..
a one..that had made trial & error in his/her life..
a one.. that start from nothing to a SOMETHING..
a one..that hv prove her/himself to be someone in life..

is this is wat im really good at..
is this wat i really want..
y im so mudah putus asa...
y all is so challeging..

its a bless that..
i meet such a good friend here..not all r that good..
but at least i know that they r the one that i can mengumpat together..
that showed me a lots perangai here..
im learning..& i pray..that i will always breathing & stand still here..