we laugh,we cry..we loved ,we hate.

i could said it a week of depression,sadness,horror,under pressure,under stress,unmotivational week for me..
dunno..sedih sesangat..semuanya berlaku serentak..losing good friend,horror interview session,job related ,expecting d unknown,parents pressure & etc..

sudahnya asyik menangis,gi shopping,grumpy face,didnt update blog,penat & sleepy.

at first it went well..go for KPLI test after susahnya adjusting both time table.masa nie still boleh control lagi,then dapat tau ada interview mara -yes,dipanggil for teacher interview for history subject-need me 2 noted that my parent really want me 2 get d job.me:i've no idea at all.

then..learn to explore this new IM.used it only just for d sake of nim & noni,but..it turn out differently.a stranger pop out & said hai.it was..ok..nama pun ok & it went well.seem 2 be a nice fella & decent.now i think im addicted 2 it.i think it is really bad for me..Y..msk ari nie je tunggu dia online..i hated mcm nie.i just want my life yg tak perlu pikir ,tunggu ,hoping for something yg tak pasti.penat,bosan..still hoping jugak tgk dia online..napa lah dia tak online...might be he also dah bored kot & i've done unappropiate things..sent my pic link..dunno..it just happen..ikut rasa ati at that time..sbb..aku rasa biar that person know me al little bit then kalau dia rasa pun tak appropiate so tak yah excited sangat,just end like that..sbb 3 ari chat ngan dia ..macam 2 we talk..from things that we hv in life,what we treasure in life 2 personal..me liked this kind of chat..tak menakutkan & selesa sangat berborak.boleh tak sedar masa berlalu mcm tu je.8 jam mengadap pc..tup..tup..dah waktu balik..lepas tu..la nie tertanya 2 mana dia tak on line..aku lak yg lebih2.DO i MISS him ?aku rasa tak..tapi lebih nak borak ngan dia.,nak bercerita,nak dgr cerita dia,bc wording dia sbb i think apa dia tulis tu honest sesangat.even last conversation pasal smoking macam freak me out tapi up to date ,still gak nak chat ngan dia..

3 days finding:
nama rafis..appear raf..kinda like his name,very rare jumpa that kind of name..singaporean by passport (yet hated state sendiri,tak patriotik langsung.kan dah kena ngan aku)...work kat HK..kerja advertising(ogilvy)..sounds interesting & challenging work.theory seronoknya hv his kind of life but pratically aku rasa aku takleh lah duduk jauh lagu tu sorang2.gonna b homesick. a cat person-issey nama dia.aku teka betul..issey tu nama perfume:issey miyaki.age:org tua!..nak dkt 30 but feel like talking w people of my age.macam ckp ngan wei tapi dia nie mature sikit lah.he..he..he.born 06.08.aku totally shocked bila he told d date..Y..kambing fall 07.08. & he siap mention leo & sagitarius can go along very well..this one tak caya langsung..workholic person..multilang,he travel a lot..nie aku suka..bestnya dia.!I really impress.he had a life that i always dream..being able 2 travel,working abroad,career nie is d ultimate things in life.my dream not a things yg impossible..one person did lead that life & he just 30.he seem an outdoor person-me ledang pun tak daki but he did!.he said he is a smoker(2 bad for such a interesting person.)said also a drinker,used 2 clubbing & that kinda of stuff:wasnt shocked coz maybe due to his career /himself.really senang berckp ngan dia sbb i didnt need to be others ..just be d plain me-d most unmature,childish,pamper& kalut person.he is liked so MATURE when discuss about life & aku respect dia sbb dia pun reti respect me.

i found it is really sweet & lawak about him when:

• he dont want 2 chat w me anymore bila aku ckp main2 ngan dia..im a" guy" actually
  
• dia lak takut aku flirt around je walhal itu patutnya statement aku,
• dia suprised aku suka gak tgk girls..sexy girls 2 b precise.
• fav moviedia yg aku tak nah tgk:eng patient,out of africa---(alooo,never see any of that) & vice versa.
• dia tau tazmanian deviltu apa.see.sign of inyelligent people
• dia kata atos tu keta mr beans(ada ke patut..aku cayang gila keta tu)
• ,dia suka nama aku yg aida,suhaida,sriaida---(aloo,aku tak suka..nama perempuan sesangat.p/s :aku sendiri mmg perempuan,tp never liked 2 be called that)
• ,he address me "cik adik"..im so blush!kinda liked d name.
• liked d pantun
  atas langit ada burung helang
  Raf: 04:03:29
  terbang tinggin nampak bergaya
  Raf: 04:03:42
  dua hari cik adek menghilang
  Raf: 04:03:51
  tapi tak ape...abang tunggu aje
  
  it just so sweet!
• we hv difficulty 2 say good bye 2 others..mmg susah nak offline.rasa boleh ckp ngan dia 24 jam..weird dia pun kata mcm cam tu..(d curse of IM addiction)
  
• well..this is kind of funny...
  
  Raf: 04:11:17
  i don't know why...we are too close too fast...just now before got online..i was thinking if U are online
  Raf: 04:11:25
  and i don't even know U that much at all...
  
  yep..he seem 2 be really nice fella..i enjoy every min i spent chatting ngan dia..NO regret..he make me smile..make me happy..make my laugh..officially i name him lor.yes lor..lor..lor..lor..kinda cute,simple & i think"lor" really resemble him.
  
  enough about this fella sebab up 2 date pun still dia tak ada lagi(hish..hish..hish).I need 2 REMEMBER this:
  
  10 valid reason
  Raf: 12:30:04
  mm...
  Raf: 12:30:31
  i mean..i don't think U are playing around or flirt..but..i just worry that you are
  eddcruz: 12:30:33
  i kena tunggu esok br daoat jwpn yek
  Raf: 12:30:41
  hehe...
  Raf: 12:30:47
  dah reply dah tu
  eddcruz: 12:32:00
  br 1,lagi 9
  eddcruz: 12:32:05
  mmm
  Raf: 12:32:40
  wa duh..
  Raf: 12:32:42
  really..
  Raf: 12:32:46
  i have to think of 9 more
  Raf: 12:32:55
  u ni..susah nak please eh
  eddcruz: 12:33:40
  ;)
  Raf: 12:33:51
  well..mm...i've met many people lving in HK...all kind of girls...and I know not all women are true to you..
  Raf: 12:34:10
  and..i have a soft heart...and I'm protective of it
  Raf: 12:34:16
  and that I believe people too quickly
  eddcruz: 12:34:46
  6 more
  Raf: 12:34:50
  i just managed to get out of a girl that was playing with my heart...
  Raf: 12:35:10
  and that i nevre can tell the true things in someone's heart or mind..i just believe what they say to me
  Raf: 12:35:48
  and I like U...which means..anything U say..i will take it as true
  Raf: 12:36:33
  and I think U are in the stage of still getting over your past...and that I'm here to ease that transition in your life..
  eddcruz: 12:36:59
  2 more
  Raf: 12:37:05
  and that I'm afraid of liking anyone...
  Raf: 12:37:15
  and that I'm very afraid of loving anyone
  Raf: 12:37:17
  done
  eddcruz: 12:37:41
  great 10 valid reason
  eddcruz: 12:37:46
  im satisfied.
  Raf: 12:40:16
  really
  Raf: 12:40:24
  orang dah type penat penat..
  Raf: 12:40:30
  that's all U got to say...
  eddcruz: 12:41:13
  wht u do is..remember this 10valid reason Y u should takut i main main with u..u'll be fine kay
  
  
  by d way..wei is going 2 resign..arghh..lagilah aku sedih!he sms aku semalam.. sedih sesangat.aku rasa betul im losing a good friend..macam masa anim & sean resign dulu.ari nie aku face 2 face ngan dia..we talked..cian dia nampak losing weight(aku jeles org yg sakit lose weight very easy but im straving 2 death 2 burn d fat).esok dia tak de..sampailah bebila..i cant help cyring this time..in between,mariani pun going to resign sbb further study..she such a decent girl,dgr ckp,respect 2 elder & really sweet..im happy both r going for better future..& at d same time gak aku sedih..sbb both r totally nice person 2 me..i hated losing good friend..u wouldnt find anyone liked then easily nowdays.i just hope we can keep in touch always..
  
  interview..it just suck..horror..& i hated myself d most..sakit hati d upmost bila pikir .so jgn dah pikir..if dapat..bagus..tak dapat pun bagus..rezeki tuhan yg bagi..tak mau ceta lebih sbb im still sedih about this & really feel stressful bila pikir about this....
  
  ha..ha..ha..itulah d GREAT DEPRESION yg aku alami for this week.its really torturing ..really frustating,i miss someone & im losing someone...