gosh..a long entry just because if a text...SAYA PERLU BERJIMAT CERMAT!

"hai there,am at j-a-k-a-r-ta,will be back end of the year!"

that was a suprised,shocking text..i dun know.
after all its me that msg-ing the moron
i feel like mau cekik..mau tell him that we need to finish the unsettled things..
moron betul...

but then again..when i received the text..i feel like
a ranting dipatah-patahkan
arghhhhhh..i hated the feeling
i hated to put myself in a sad atmosphera again..
i hated to mourn over a spill milk.
come to think...really..i wanna to strangled the moron..
its not that i still hv the BIG CAPITAL L -O-V-E ..
its over...broken to pieces..scattered by wing..
history that hidden in the very dark corner of my heart
its kinda like unfinished bussiness..at the very end of the day
i didnt really express the anger,the geram,the penampar that he should get
the yelling..the all unappreciated thing moron do to me...arghhhhh
i just cry..& cry..asking for sympthy
come to think,gosh..was am so stupid.& completed idiot

& that is Y..
am really fragile to the heart..love dovey things..
i meant i cant see the people i lurve being under appreciated..
i know how its feel..
& truely..ive make a VOW to myself ..a vow that meant for me only
that i shall never make myself hurt by others...
i would make myself HAPPY!!!
i would do things that i lurve & spent time,money & energy for..
everything that i do..ill do it FOR MYSELF!!!!!
not others...

example..TO LOSE WEIGHT!!!!
TO FIT SIZE O,TO BE IN 45 KG WEIGHT!!!!
NO FAT..NO TUMMY LAYER..
JUST A SLENDER..FITTER BODY
THIS WOULD MAKE ME HAPPy!!!
THIS WOULD MAKE ME FEEL GOOD ABOUT MYSELF
IM DOING THIS FOR MYSELF


i remember i still hv a photo of us together..
come to think..gambar poyo2..& moron never look good on my capture..
seem like tak ikhlas face when thinking back
I hvnt see the capture..after years i think..
i almost forgot moron 's face also..HHAHAHAHAH
but i really like the frame that i put the capture..
i guess.. when am ready..am strong..i wanna dig the stuff..
to get the frame..its really unique..& i bought it coz it was on bargain & different
& i wanna to sell those stuff that moron gave it to me..
crappy stuff..hahhahaha..
well..am a bit tiny broke..

so dun anyone dare to talk about married @ watever
especially org2 yang tak ada kaitan w my life..typicall ma-lays people
suka hati aku lah..!!!!
i dun really have faith in men..except family & close frenz
i REALLY WANNA HV FUN W MY LIFE!!!!
wanna to ENJOY MY LIFE..

i think.. so far am doing GOOD!!
i discover myself bit by bit
the hidden talent of me..
& to love myself the most