its my pms thing..dun bother about it..just i need to wrote this stuff

i wake up today w highly motivated myself....azam baru..
i pray & went jog & i sidai bj
punch in & roommy i am now..
at this moment im so dizzy that i can bang myself at wall..
bang my head so hard that those dizzeness dissapear
i wanna feel high.feel energetic..but im so pening lalat lah

hv u ever.. at part of ur day where by u feel nothing..
empty..restless..& u just wanna close ur eyes & ears
& u just wanna be taken away from all of those mess
im feeling it at the moment
i wanna cry..i need to cry..cry as much as i could..
but i cant..therefore i feel trap..feel im useless & padan muka saya

i just wish that i can just stop the time..
so that i wont waste today moment
just for me to scold..torture myself..
yeah..i think im mad at myself at this hour..
y im so lazy..so pemalas
y i suka buat kerja last minute
y i luv to sleep..
y im so useless
y i tak consistent in my work
y im so bebal
y im so emotionally weak
y im so kind & not firm
y im getting myself angry

i need to bang myself at wall..
till it hurt & i can feel the blood instead of the dizzeness