kambing oh kambing

this occur on monday 6 JUNE 05.didnt hv a appropiate time 2 jot it down.im working 12am-12pm at kfc.d day was ok lah,dekat malam ,baru bz.dr siang masa kerja nampak bebayang dia ka muka cust..napa..napa..then malam tu barulah dia betul2 ada depan mata.masa bz lak tu..i think im over him..arghh..my heart was beateing fast at that time,tangan sejuk gila,asa nak menangis je masa tu..nasib baik tak ramai notice dia & my self at that time..then nak abis transaction brlah org2 notice...

after he left i hv difficulty 2 calm myself down,argh...tak boleh bg noticeable kegelisahan nie.tambah lagi sakit perut sbb ubat..he bring d memory back.memeng teribbly gelisah,rasa sedih sesangat.tapi kena cover,kena pretend that everything its ok.thank god siva forward sms,yes,i need comfort,i need someone 2 talk to..i sms dia bebanyak luahkan segala2nya.lega sikit.he did reply back.rayner datang malam tu,ceta kat rayner.im feeling a lot better

napa yek..im think im over him.masa jumpa kat shell tu ok je..might be coz of d environment kot buat so nostaglia..about d wallet i gift 2 him,yes,he still hv it.dia tak buang @ tukar.sedikit lusuh tapi masih in a good condition.im glad & im feel being appreciate.

by d way,he look a better.berisi sikit but better.tak kurus sesangat macam dulu.he might hv a good life @ a new GF.might be he dating someone,might be,but i think so,sbb i know him kan..muka dia agak bercahaya..yeah,i think dia ada keluar date..w someone..

am i happy?..i dont know.i dont hv d ultimate answer.if it is regard feeling,yes,i still cant over him yet..totally but there is improvement..it been like1 year @ a half since we ended courtship..
i do realised that my life hv been a lot of changes.more positive i think..but do my love story was a waste.i think no.sbb kita belajar dr failure...it quiet horrible time at that time ,i feel give up ,depress & totally geram,mare ngan kambing....d world seem has just ended..arghh..so lame aku nie..

i do a lot of things ,cut my hair,color it(1st time in my life),shed lot of kilos,then dapat my 1st job,dapat my ATOS,MY nikon & lots & lots of things came in between.life isnt so bad although at certain time i feel lonely..

at this moment..
im happy 2 b single,bachelor.
im always tought im still 23 @ 21years old instead 26
im showed improvement in my maturity.
im positive to achieve my goal-cruz!
less prob 2 think..tak yah nak pikir BF dah,tak yah nak nangis pasal dia,duit pun jimat
im responsible for what im am.

yes..till some day..some how..some one..
till then,
shop till drop
saving till kaya
invest till mampu
cruz & maintain still boleh
byr utang till abis
complete ur goal!